Nearly FMLs

By Olivia_Higdon_ - 29/04/2016 21:19 - United States - Flat Rock

Today, as I left for school, I forgot to put on deodorant. This would've been fine if my crush hadn't have walked by me after gym. Apparently I smelled so bad, he gagged.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 16

By filipkm - 29/04/2016 21:14 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I was familiarized with cartoon pain when I stepped on a soap in my shower and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 10

By yay spring... - 29/04/2016 21:11 - United States - Denver

Today, you know you're allergies are bad when you have a sneezing fit so severe, it causes you to shit yourself and get a bloody nose. Only an hour left at work. Commando.

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 17

By mom zoned - 29/04/2016 21:03 - United States - Southlake

Today, my best friend that I've had a crush on for years said I remind him of his mom, and for that reason we could never go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 9

By ThatOneGuy - 29/04/2016 20:43 - United States - Houston

Today, my car broke down, so I took it to the shop to get fixed. I was on my way home after getting it back, when I was rear-ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 11

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 20:32 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was playing a video game with my girlfriend, and it started getting really hard, so within a few minutes, we were both screaming and banging our fists against random things. I heard someone at the door to my room. It was my mom, and she thought we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 15

By scaredshitless - 29/04/2016 20:12 - Poland - Tychy

Today, I woke up for the first time at my new place. I hadn't slept well because my upstairs neighbors kept on rattling, rambling and clanking on God knows what, so I decided to pay them a visit and give them hell. Only then did I remember that I live on the top floor now. There is no upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 20:07 - United States - Los Angeles

Today I finally got a job, after a couple years of trying to get one. Before meeting me, my new boss decided to text me about the work hours. I was texting another friend at the time, and as an inside joke I texted my friend "I hate you". Afterwards, I realized that I actually texted my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 30

By chickennuggets - 29/04/2016 19:55 - United States - Barnhart

Today, my wife agreed to let me give her a rimjob. All was going well, until she decided to let out some diarrhea. All she had to say was, "That's what you get for buying me Taco Bell for lunch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 11

By Tarlachia - 29/04/2016 19:48 - United States - Orlando

Today, while standing next to my work van pulling out tools for a job, a man snuck up within inches behind me and stood in silence. Upon turning around, his presence startled me enough to cause me to punch him hard in the chest and force him back into another car. He only wanted a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 9

By idek - 29/04/2016 19:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was starting to jack off with what I thought was lotion. Not long after did I realize that it was gold bond foot cream. Probably the most pain I've witnessed in a while. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 19:44 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was working the drive-up of the bank I work at. One of the bankers wanted me to process his transaction, so I did. There was a customer who pulled up to the station, and I asked him to greet her. He had his mic on and he was talking in swear words to me. The customer heard everthing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 14

By algebraaa - 29/04/2016 19:40 - United States - Forney

Today, in math class we were entering answers into a quiz site. I failed with a zero, then everyone used my tablet to get the right answers, which are given after you finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 14

By berger13 - 29/04/2016 19:40 - United States - San Diego

Today, I started lactating in class. This would be fine if I wasn't a junior in high school. Or never pregnant. Or a male.

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 11

By anonynom - 29/04/2016 19:37 - United States - Springfield

Today, I read an obvious fake FML in moderation about a kid talking to a ghost. Commenters not only believed it was real, they believed ghosts are real too. It's like we're living in the middle ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 17

By javankipp - 29/04/2016 19:05 - United States - Frederick

Today, I had to use the bathroom at school. After taking a piss I let out what I thought would just be a fart. I was wrong. Now I have to drive an hour home in soiled underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 32

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 19:04 - Australia

Today, I shat myself 5 times before the morning was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 25

By istheaar_on - 29/04/2016 18:55 - Italy - Padova

Today, I was pissing liquid out of my rear for what seemed like an eternity. In the wrong bathroom. Of my best friends wedding. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 22

By TheIfiriValkyrie - 29/04/2016 18:54 - United States - El Paso

Today, as I was putting on pants in the morning, I hear a crunch and soon after, a wet sensation. I quickly remove my pants to see a squirming roach fall out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 20

By breakerone92 - 29/04/2016 18:46

Today, i bought two $2 scratch off lotto tickets for my friend and i, he won $500 i won nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 25

By anon - 29/04/2016 18:43 - United States - Northfield

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to get intimate. I am on my period so I stealthily removed my tampon and threw it on the floor trying not to ruin the mood. A couple minutes in we heard growling. My cats were fighting over my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 42

By puppydamage - 29/04/2016 18:24 - United States - Abilene

Today, after getting peanut butter all over my hands trying to give a pill to my puppy, I quickly washed my hands before taking her out. In a second, she ran away and was about to pee on the carpet. I grabbed her quickly to take her out, not before she peed mid-air all over me and the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 18

By devonic - 29/04/2016 18:23 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was trying to be sexy for my boyfriend, but I slipped and bashed my face on the bad. Now I don't have front teeth and I have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 19

By devonic - 29/04/2016 18:16 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was trying to be sexy for my boyfriend but I slipped and bashed my fave on the bed now I don't have front teeth and I have a meeting first thing tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 17

By Sabrina95 - 29/04/2016 18:03 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I realized that I don't always lose stuff. However, when I do it's my tablet that contains not only my Finals schedule, but in class Final notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 15

By Gassy Classmate - 29/04/2016 17:57 - United States - Washington

Today, I really had to fart but I was in class so I walked to the back. Unfortunately the air vents turned on during and my fart was pushed around the whole class. People noticed. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 14

By MojoJoJo4791 - 29/04/2016 17:35 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I decided to confront my girlfriend as to why she'd been so distant lately and hadn't been returning my calls or texts in the past few days. She got upset and said she was hoping I'd take a hint. Guess who's single? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 10

By jrice79 - 29/04/2016 17:32 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I received a text from my pharmacy saying "Your prescription for D is out of stock...". Even my Pharmacy is cock blocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 5

By YourAverageKumar - 29/04/2016 17:26 - Canada - Mississauga

Today at school, I had a supply teacher. Little did I know, she was friends with my mother and began displaying embarrassing childhood photos of me I have no recollection about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:19 - United States

Today, I realized my parents will never love me because I'm, quote, "A tryhard loser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 12

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my 16-year-old daughter heated some sugar cubes in the microwave, thinking it would make caster sugar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 77

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 440

You deserved it 3 018

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 056

You deserved it 7 532

Today, I saw my boyfriend took me off his relationship status on Facebook. He just left “In a relationship” blank. This came after he added some girl. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me to the point of tears, and told me to stop worrying about stupid shit. Apparently, I also ruined his day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 143

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said they were for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 5 248

Today, I realized my girlfriend has way more friends than I do. How did I realize this? She called me to tell me she was at the beach with her friends, and how much fun she was having. I was playing WoW in my room, and my friends don't answer my texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 703

You deserved it 26 956