Nearly FMLs

By CharmeKetsueki - 30/04/2016 00:50 - Canada - Arkona

Today, I was at the public library with my boyfriend and noticed an elderly woman glancing at us every once in awhile, after the fifth time she approached me and apologized for staring because apparently I reminded her of a horrible surgery she had.

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 13

By Jmill_75 - 30/04/2016 00:46 - United States - Ozark

Today, I was sitting in lunch and a fight broke out and I was like wow. The teacher went to go break it up and got hit really hard and went down. so I tried to break it up to help and I did. then I get pulled into the office and got 4 days of ISD for being in a fight FML.

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 146

By Fire - 30/04/2016 00:44

Today, my mom called 911 because there was a fire at our house. In our fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 61

By Jmill_75 - 30/04/2016 00:41 - United States - Ozark

Today, I went go to go give a girl a book that she had dropped in the hallway. so I pick up the book and walked over to her to hand her to book. I tapped on her shoulder then she ends up decking me in the face FML.

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 61

By NotHavingIt - 30/04/2016 00:40 - United States - Houston

Today, in class, the guy next to me seemed anxious. My desk was shaking from his leg bouncing and I turned and his hands were in his pants and he was jacking off. There was cum all over his pants. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 30/04/2016 00:36 - United States - Ozark

Today, I was power cleaning in weights class. I went to help my crush with her form so I showed her what to do. then I ended up smacking her in the face with the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 72

By melizabethbennet - 30/04/2016 00:15 - United States - Columbia

Today I was at the store looking for Worcester sauce. I asked this cute, very young attendant. He helped me find it and I said, "Oh, Thank you so much! Mine dried up, and man, you know you're not using it a lot if it dries up!" Poor kid looked like I had 3 tits and had just flashed him. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 61

By Dodged a bullet - 30/04/2016 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out that my ex best friend has been talking about me behind my back. I confronted her over text and told her to discuss any problems she has with me to me. Instead of apologizing, she said, "Well, I don't want to be friends with you anymore anyway." Wow. I wish I did it first. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 46

By cynthia - 29/04/2016 23:58 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, my new kitten died in her sleep. I dug a hole in the garden to bury her but I caught my husband throwing her into the bin like a piece of garbage. Satan will be a champion ice skater by the time I forgive him, and a skiing champion too by the time I let him have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 57

By cheeeksss - 29/04/2016 23:54 - United States - La Habra

Today, I discovered that my ceiling has been littering small white flakes of paint onto my head. It was actually my classmate who pointed it out to me. And now everyone thinks I have severe dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 28

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 23:50 - United States - Westfield

Today, I got contacted by my ex from high school whom I haven't seen for about 20 years after dating her for the last month of senior year. As it turns out, we have a 20 year old son together, who I have not been informed of until now. She called demanding money. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 43

By ohCanadaEh - 29/04/2016 23:48 - Canada - Chatham

Today, I realized I am too lonely when I started slap boxing and having a burping contest with myself all while shitting with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 22

By lizardman - 29/04/2016 23:37 - United States - Swannanoa

Today, I learned my girlfriend has a deep seated fear and belief of lizard people when she began crying hysterically due to the intense peeling of my sunburn sounding and feeling like "lizard skin shedding."

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 23

By Sigma777 - 29/04/2016 23:24 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was working outside at my parents' property with my uncle. While we took a break inside, I started feeling an itch on my stomach. I start to scratch the area, when I heard a giant crunch, and something wet on my stomach. I open my shirt to see a dead bug fall out and guts on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 20

By annaism - 29/04/2016 23:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, a homeless man ran by me, smacked my butt, winked, and ran away laughing. I definitely felt a squeez. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 20

By squilliam214 - 29/04/2016 23:09 - United States - Newark

Today, my house was destroyed in a tornado. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 35

By courtzzz23 - 29/04/2016 23:04 - United States - Seville

Today, as usual, I was walking around the house naked. my fiance bring me a outfit and winks. he would rather see me in slutty clothing than naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 26

By about to be single - 29/04/2016 22:58 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while I was enjoying a rare break my boyfriends mother had the audacity to call me lazy , I work two jobs and clean up after myself and her son, who as of this week, has been unemployed for two weeks and does nothing but sit and play WOW all day , FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 22:56 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I just finished my first year in a Paralegal Studies degree program. I started reading about the stereotypes and negatives judgments towards paralegals from attorneys, i.e. how we're all just the lawyer's lacky. My fiancé agreed with all of them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 11

By herekittykitty - 29/04/2016 22:44 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, I walked downstairs to make some breakfast. As I walked over to the sink, a black cat was sleeping in it. I live on the third floor and the apartment does not allow cats. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 15

By GingerSnap98 - 29/04/2016 22:39 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I started my period. For the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 38

By ChaosFerret - 29/04/2016 22:31 - United States - Springfield

Today, I tried to wake up my boyfriend for morning sex with a Blowjob, he woke up looked at me said it was nice and thank you, then promptly got out of bed to go talk to one of our roommates for over an hour. I'm still in bed naked .FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 13

By TheLifguard95 - 29/04/2016 22:25 - United Kingdom

Today, My co-worker and I where cleaning the drains of the pool we both lifeguard at. Now as we where cleaning the drain, he nearly managed fall in the pool face first, as I was laughing (extremely hard at the situation) I managed to catch my foot in the open drain and almost broke my ankle... FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 21

By Fumi - 29/04/2016 22:23 - United States - Missoula

Today, while working at a grocery store, my supervisor pushed a cart filled with boxes up beside me. He usually tries to push it into me, making a huge mess of cardboard so I was surprised. I asked, "Aren't you gonna ram me today?" His face turned bright red and all he said was "Maybe later". FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 10

By ItsGoneForever - 29/04/2016 22:19 - Netherlands - Driehuis

Today, my girlfriend told me that out of all my friends, I have the smallest penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 22:15 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my drunk and high brother beat me up. He told my dad that my broken arm was my own fault because I never want to smoke weed and it made him think I planned to kill him. My dad agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 9

By that guy - 29/04/2016 22:14 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with my twin sister. I have been on birth control for months. She is now pregnant.

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 14

By susanp - 29/04/2016 21:54 - United States - Columbus

Today, I broke my wrist doing the trust fall challenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 21

By ahorn - 29/04/2016 21:49 - United States - Omaha

Today, my fiancé is going on his bachelor weekend. His best man has sworn he will break us up... I'm nauseated just thinking about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 14

By Bloodyskull - 29/04/2016 21:48 - United States - Albemarle

Today, I called my girlfriend. She told me to check up on the story were writing. Her character broke up with mine, so I asked her why. She hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 9

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I vented to someone about being left on read by someone else, and they left me on read as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 452

Today, I pretended to be sick at the office and went home early because I wanted to attend a party. On the way to the said party, my car caught fire on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 2 224

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 89

Today, I'm going to a cocktail event, except my dress is wrinkled and can't be ironed, so I got my steam cleaner from storage. I saw what looked like mold inside the water container. Turns out a mouse had got into it, drowned and started to decompose. My apartment now smells like death and my dress is still wrinkled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 257

Today, I let my young son play on my RuneScape account, figuring he was too young to do much more than walk around randomly. I came back to find out he'd somehow gotten into my in-game bank and lost a huge amount of money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 1 161

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 407

You deserved it 385