Nearly FMLs

By Stigmamma - 29/04/2016 12:31 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I decided to take my 4yo for a picnic on the beach. On the way, an SUV slams into the back of my car, denting my bumper and scaring my daughter. After comforting her and swapping details with the other driver, we finally got to the beach. Five minutes later, it started raining. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 26

By The Mistress - 29/04/2016 12:21 - Malaysia - Petaling Jaya

Today, I found out that my so-called "divorced" boyfriend is still married, by stalking his "ex"-wife's Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 32

By gingerlover01 - 29/04/2016 12:18 - United States

Today, my family kept me up until three in the morning screaming at me then got mad I was up so late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 30

By Thelonelydino - 29/04/2016 12:03 - United States

Today, like every other day, my boyfriend rather have sex with his hand than sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 49

By CrapBerry - 29/04/2016 11:49 - United States - Charleston

Today, I'm the only one in my school who owns and uses a BlackBerry. Teachers included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 62

By anon - 29/04/2016 11:37 - United States - Kokomo

Today, I realized that I need to rethink buying shirts that are a little tight on me when a 7 year old girl told me it looked like my shirt was crushing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 55

By meow - 29/04/2016 11:36 - United States - Charleston

Today, even my cat wouldn't hang around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 26

By jephte00 - 29/04/2016 11:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was playing truth or dare with my colleagues, my girlfriend included she was chosen and we said truth. She said im breaking up with you and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 8

By ClearFavoritism - 29/04/2016 11:24 - United States - Charleston

Today, my little brother cut up my $60 headphones when they finally came in the mail because "He's younger and he gets more privileges." My mom agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 13

By rboucher5 - 29/04/2016 11:07 - United States - Cheshire

Today, we got to touch a pig heart in school, their was a squeamish girl behind me and when the heart was next to her she projectile vomited on me, FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 11:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boss called me into his office to discuss why I am so unhappy in my new job. In summary - if I look for a new job his boss will destroy my career in this town. Knowing the people involved now, I actually believe him. Consider my morale lifted and me motivated to stay. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 12

By anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text that read "I can't handle the stress of being a father" I don't have any kids nor am I pregnant. But apparently his other girlfriend is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 7

By forgotten granddaughter - 29/04/2016 10:52 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my grandfather called me after not contacting for almost ten years and told me that he wants to bring us to a buffet. It took him the news of my family moving to Australia to call and I'd be lying if I say I remember what he looks like at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 8

By tizzleT - 29/04/2016 10:46 - United States - Phoenix

Today,I was at school and I had to sneeze. After that happened I had a slight pain in the back of my head. After school I went to the doctor and they said I popped 3 blood vessels in the back of my head,

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:42 - United States - Delaware

Today, I found out that my nausea is caused by the medication I have to take. The medication I have been taking for years and must continue taking in order to function as a human being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 12

By Stoogey - 29/04/2016 10:40 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, whilst at work, I got really excited about finding a full bottle of cleaning spray to clean my register. A few moments later I came to the depressing realization that I got excited over cleaning spray. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 10:35

Today, I have a 8,000 word project overdue by about a month that I had the entire year to do. My current word-count is 1689 words. If I don't hand it in within the next 4 1/2 hours, I fail my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 140

By alr158 - 29/04/2016 10:21 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I forgot that I was sharing my screen with my boss whilst on on a conference call. I got a bit bored and started doing some online shopping - he watched me buy maternity clothes, bras and giant panties. I've not disclosed pregnancy yet due to upcoming promotion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 25

By a faker - 29/04/2016 09:42 - United States - Camp Hill

Today, at work a small political discussion took place in the break room. I said I hate Trump but would take him over Hillary. My boss sent me to an unpaid mandatory racial sensitivity class on my weekend because voting for trump would clearly make me a racist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 24

By B - 29/04/2016 09:27 - United States - Hammond

Today, my father let me know he won't be making it to my wedding because my fiancé is black and he assumed I was just "going through a phase". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 10

By Celestialfur - 29/04/2016 09:12 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out my girlfriend has a beastiality fetish...After letting her dogsit for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 9

By TreyaMarie - 29/04/2016 09:03 - United States - North Hills

Today, I went to the zoo with some friends. We went and saw the gorillas. Apparently, the gorilla was in heat and tried to grab me and take me as its mate. After that, a giraffe tried to eat my head. Needless to day, never going to the San Diego Zoo ever again. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 12

By Mauskau - 29/04/2016 08:47 - United Kingdom - Slough

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I've also spent 3 hours on the toilet after only 3 hours of sleep. It's only 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 6

By myearsarebleeding - 29/04/2016 08:28 - France

Today, I am stuck on an eight hour long train trying to revise for my exams. The man sitting behind me is snoring so loud that I can't even hear myself think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 9

By whereforeartthounotsilent - 29/04/2016 07:34 - United States

Today, I experienced Exploding Head Syndrome induced by tinnitus in the middle of the night. It felt and sounded like a million bees trying to attack me through a helmet of tinfoil for a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 6

By buttsmcgee - 29/04/2016 07:22 - United States - Astoria

Today, it's my anniversary. We went out of town to relax without the kids but now I can't sleep because of my husband's horrible snoring. Even ear plugs don't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 07:19 - United States - Spokane

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house because I don't wake up early enough to take my morning meds, apparently 4:00AM is the perfect time to wake up and take them, FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By WhyIsMyBedSoCloseToMyWall - 29/04/2016 07:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, when I was getting out of bed I surprise farted, fell on the floor laughing and banged my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 19

By depressed - 29/04/2016 07:10 - United States - Coventry

Today, I was so sick of not getting any e-mails, that I borrowed a few books from the library, just so they can e-mail me when they're due. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 45

By robdewg - 29/04/2016 07:08 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after weeks of trying to convince me she's 'just a friend' I walked in on my fiance of 5 years naked with his other girl. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 23

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 454

You deserved it 1 404

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 684

You deserved it 6 314

Today, I spent a good 30 seconds licking my husbands' penis all over before I drew back his foreskin to really start going to town on it, only to discover that under the head was covered in his stinking knob cheese. I threw up three times. He’s an adult man and can’t wash himself properly. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 234

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 946

You deserved it 2 074

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 116

You deserved it 40 145

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 830

You deserved it 39 489