Nearly FMLs

By 399 - 16/05/2016 16:01 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I got a new phone and wanted to show my friends how durable it is, so I took it out of the case, dropped it and shattered the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 322

By Dear God Dad! - 16/05/2016 15:31 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, my dad rang to ask if I could call Sky TV to enquire about some "charges" on his December bill. I had to listen to the advisor piss herself laughing whilst telling me the charges were for adult entertainment ordered on December 18th. My mum had just passed away suddenly on December 16th...FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 27

By ThatGayGinger - 16/05/2016 15:28 - United States - Dallas

Today, After a long talk and brief excitement of finding out my 19 year old girl friend is pregnant, to my dismay I found out its my 16 year old brothers. But she doesn't want to tell him and act like it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 28

By fantabulosastic - 16/05/2016 14:31 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house and let my ex-boyfriend move in to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 25

By NightHawk4926 - 16/05/2016 14:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom cancelled our summer trip after she found out my 11 year old brother had porn on his laptop. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd been using his laptop for porn ever since I broke my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 102

By fuck - 16/05/2016 13:38 - United States - New Haven

Today, my boyfriend was an hour late picking me up from work. He was with another girl, and picked me up in her car. We just moved in together, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 13:21 - United Kingdom - Woking

Today, my mum spent two hours calling me fat and unsuccessful and asking me why I'm not embarrassed to be alive. All because I told her to calm down and that it's not that big a deal that the cashier in the supermarket spent ten whole seconds working out how much change to give her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 8

By MummyRavyne - 16/05/2016 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I lost my phone and with it my memory card of 4 years that held every single picture of my daughter. Having no back up I sent a plea to my lost phone to ask whoever had it to drop phone/sd card at the concergie office as sd card is priceless to me. Just got a text back "Pics deleted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 10

By Tikaani96 - 16/05/2016 12:42 - United States - Springfield

Today, my husband told me he was thinking about getting a vasectomy because he never wants to have kids. I then had to awkwardly tell him I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 225

You deserved it 24

By Lynn - 16/05/2016 12:11 - Sweden - Huddinge

Today, I'm on the third day of agonizing migraine, which I got from taking medication for an inflamed jaw. Now I've stopped taking the medication and I'm stuck with twice the pain I had from the beginning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 10

By PsychoLlama - 16/05/2016 11:59 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my boyfriend got angry with me because I wouldnt have sex infront of our sleeping child, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 11:10 - United States - Davenport

Today, I got herpes from my roommate. No, not by having sex, but from using my own towel after he used it himself, and not telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 14

By Crash Test Dummy - 16/05/2016 10:56 - Finland - Hyvink??

Today my wife said that I'm like a crash test dummy. She drags me with her just because she doesn't want to look alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 16

By possibly pregnant - 16/05/2016 10:41 - Australia

Today, I lost my virginity and thought the strange sensation that followed was just part of the process. Turns out the 'strange sensation' was caused by the condom remained in me the whole night. There's a fair chance that i'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 18

By SammyJammy - 16/05/2016 10:32 - United Kingdom - Ivybridge

Today, I had to resort to withholding sex, all to make my wife take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 11

By anonymous - 16/05/2016 09:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today,I've been a human volcano since 4am due to food poisoning. Wouldn't be an overly terrible thing if I hadn't thought that vomiting for 2 hrs could possibly start my labour. I'm almost 9 months pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 9

By PoeticPleasure - 16/05/2016 08:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my fiancee is away and I was taking sexy pictures for him to enjoy, but when I hit send I realized I had sent it to a guy I recently met and hardly know instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 29

By Unappreciated-son - 16/05/2016 08:16 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it is my mothers birthday. Now for others, that may not be a bad thing. For me, it is a day filled with my mother complaining and moaning because I did not make an effort. Sorry breakfast in bed and a nice gift isn't good enough. And yes, this happens every year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 08:10 - Fiji - Suva

Today , i realized that my 16 year old neighbor has been watching me shower for the past year and half . FML.

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 11

By lexmarie12 - 16/05/2016 06:28 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my little sister was upset about having to do her homework. I tried to cheer her up and then carried her into the living room. On our way down the hall she decided to get upset again and grabbed a picture frame and smashed all the glass over my face.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 8

By Light_My_Afire - 16/05/2016 06:02 - United States

Today, I took a call from my mom on her vacation with a new beau. From her incoherent weeping, I was able to make out a few words. Hearing "blue balls" from your mother's lips wasn't as traumatic as you'd think, the traumatic part came when I had to explain what it was, and why it happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 6

By sadashell - 16/05/2016 05:57 - Canada - Surrey

Today, after picking up the ashes of my grandfather, I came home to find my mother had died on my couch while I was gone. you can't even make this stuff up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 8

By Ihateallmensorrynotsorry - 16/05/2016 05:51 - Ireland

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years, who broke up with me a month ago has been dating someone for the last two weeks. My best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 13

By Anon - 16/05/2016 05:46 - Australia - Glenunga

Today, my friend and her boyfriend slept over because he had no where to stay for the night. So i agreed to let him sleep. Since there was only one bed we ended up sharing it together. We all said goodnight and next thing I know they start having sex right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 11

By itstherabbit - 16/05/2016 01:42 - United States - Arlington

Today, the delivery guy noticed I got a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 110

By SatansLover_666 - 15/05/2016 23:58 - United States - Sparks

Today, I was taking pictures of myself when my dad said " You know that using filters doesn't make you less ugly right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 59

By alexthebalex - 15/05/2016 17:58 - United States - Westbury

Today, i opened the door for an old woman while my sisters and i went into a coffee shop. We were both in line and she started to talk to me. I couldn't understand her so naturally i just laughed and nodded. My sisters later informed me that she was telling me about her mom's death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 155

By unluckyfreshman - 15/05/2016 16:56 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, I finished freshman year. I left my first college dorm room. While we were checking out of the room, my roommate opened the fridge full of my alcohol in front of the Resident Assistant. The RA asked if what she saw was a bottle of vodka. I promptly said "no, it's juice". She wrote me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 139

By LL13 - 15/05/2016 16:39 - United States - Dodge City

Today, my boss informed me that after approving my cruise vacation with my family, three months ago, she can no longer approve my time because of "staffing issues". The cruise is three months away, already paid for, and nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 37

By confidence boosted - 15/05/2016 16:07 - United States - Bridgewater

Today, I told my mom I wanted to be a vegetarian. Since we come from a family of straight up carnivores, I was a little nervous to tell her. She skeptically told me "well maybe you could try", and then proceeded to mock my dog, asking him if he was going vegetarian too. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 86

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The Top

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 868

You deserved it 3 752

Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 398

You deserved it 5 107

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 591

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 302

You deserved it 254

Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 302

You deserved it 3 718

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 646

You deserved it 3 783