Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 17/05/2016 04:09 - United States - Lumberton

Today, I discovered that the only reason my friend invites me over anymore, is because I'm the only one of his friends that will help him with all his chores and even do the ones he doesn't want to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 37

By Anonymous - 17/05/2016 04:05 - United States - Denver

Today, I made plans to hang out with two of my friends. They rescheduled the meeting and forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 30

By Meowbaby9 - 17/05/2016 04:04 - United States

Today, I almost got fired. The reason? I left at my scheduled time and didn't help a coworker finish her task. She also didn't show up for work today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 22

By ViewsFromThe305 - 17/05/2016 02:53 - United States - Miami

Today, My car broke down on the side of the highway, which resulted in me jumping up and down like a lunatic and waving to upcoming traffic for help because I left my phone at home FML.

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 27

By WOW - 17/05/2016 02:33 - United States - Compton

Today, My mom went on a rampage which somehow ended with me being a terrible person because the garbage can was full. When I went to take it out a hot guy was outside. He asked me why my face was green. I had forgotten to take my face mask off FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 19

By Anonymous - 17/05/2016 02:22 - United States - Southfield

Today, I decided to be healthy and ran a mile only to have a late night "snack" of an entire pizza at midnight. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 58

By Friendless - 17/05/2016 00:58 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I was banned from my school's library for spending too much time in it. I'm only there for lunch because I have no friends to sit with. Now I get to walk in circles around the cafeteria every day for half an hour because everyone hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 20

By Chaos15Life - 17/05/2016 00:54 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I learned that the last four years of my life and starting a family was a complete waste of time when my s.o. told me she wasnt attracted to me anymore and that shes leaving. In the state of TX mom usually wins custody, im likely never going to see my kids again. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 14

By Olivia93 - 17/05/2016 00:39 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I took my son to see a friends horse. Didn't really think footwear through very much. When Open toe dolly shoes meet a horses foot, believe me when I say it's painful. Now have a squashed foot and squashed shoe fml

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 19

By sillymama - 16/05/2016 23:45 - United States - Aurora

Today, I made a new friend at the docs office. She crawled out on eight legs from under the clipboard of paperwork to say hello. After I shrieked and jumped through the roof, said new friend realized it was bad timing and ran away under my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 17

By r00dmutherfucker - 16/05/2016 23:29 - United States - Toms River

Today, my dad texted me a picture of a baby squirrel. I replied, "Cute!" He sent a sad face back, and the next message I get is: "My boss made me club it to death. He's trying to make me more stern." The next thing is a dead squirrel. Then he says, "I fed it's still quivering body to a hawk!" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 9

By mzsomethinelse - 16/05/2016 23:27 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I invited everyone at work, via the overhead speaker, to "cock", instead of "cake and coffee"

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 18

By ContemplatingMurder - 16/05/2016 23:17 - Belgium - Nijlen

Today, after telling my little sister multiple times that she needs to ask before using or taking my makeup, I found out she has used up all my clear nail polish and replaced it with tap water so I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 16

By auronsgirl - 16/05/2016 23:09 - United States - Mountain Top

Today, after throwing up and being in the worst pain in my life from gallstones for the past 10 hours, I went to the ER. They refused to help me saying I didn't have gallstones and I must be pregnant. I haven't had sex in over a year. I went home with a huge bill and no help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 15

By stitchesgirl12 - 16/05/2016 23:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, , I had an irate customer on the line while taking inbound calls for an american cable company. They wanted my supervisor, because apparently I couldn't get her a tech out fast enough- To ensure her dogs would be able to watch their favourite shows while she's at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 16

By _ADOG2645_ - 16/05/2016 22:59 - United States - Guilford

Today, I woke up to below freezing temperatures, In my house, because a bunch of windows were left open overnight. Not only that, but my furnace's oil tank is empty. Ah, the joys of living New England. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 14

By Motherflakka - 16/05/2016 22:50 - United States - Miamisburg

Today, I had a patient in the ER that was high out of his mind on Flakka. He wasn't even there 5 minutes before he bit a large chunk of flesh out of my arm. To add insult to injury, he chewed said chunk of flesh and spat it right back in my face. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 11

By Idiotskillme - 16/05/2016 22:46 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I plucked a long gray hair off my head. None of my family has gotten gray hairs at my age. I'm 18 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 11

By foreveralone - 16/05/2016 22:45 - United States

Today, the girl I like texted me saying that she loved me. After a couple of texts, it turns out her friends did that to mess with me. That's the closest I've ever gotten to a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 6

By NeverDeleteEver - 16/05/2016 21:46 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, at my job as a Graphic Designer I was working on 30 piece plus concert collateral. But because my account manager saw that there were two folders with similar names she deleted my working files. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 21:36 - Canada - Surrey

Today, my music classes were going great: kids being nice to each other, getting through my whole plan, lining up nicely to go back to class. Until my last class. I took 4 recorder-swords/guns away, stopped 2 fistfights, and stopped all practice due to screeching. They're grade 3s. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 11

By RottenBroccoli - 16/05/2016 21:35 - United States - Cary

Today, I stayed up all night studying for finals. Exhausted and still having an hour before I had to start getting ready, I fell asleep. I slept through my alarm and missed my final.

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 21:20 - United States - Cherokee Village

Today, I just realized I'm in love with one of my close female friends. Not only is she dating someone, but she's a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 18

By the men in my life - 16/05/2016 20:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I had to take my father to the hospital for a fall down stairs, after many hours I got him home and comfortable. My brother showed up so I could go back to work. Getting out of his car he managed to drop a tool box on his foot, breaking 2 toes. Back to the hospital we go. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 6

By seriously, mum, GTFO, PLEASE - 16/05/2016 20:50 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I hooked up with a girl I like, but as we walked through my door tearing at each other's clothes, my mother appeared behind us, having dropped by for a visit. I had to introduce the poor girl to my mother who wouldn't take the fucking hint to leave us alone and stayed for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 8

By JustPerfect1997 - 16/05/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, I found out that my ex boyfriend, who broke up with me a week ago, has a girlfriend. And has done for the past three months. I wonder why he all of a sudden developed erectile disfunction three months ago? FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 11

By Jewcrewfromschool - 16/05/2016 17:37 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, some asshole in my school decided to smoke weed in the bathroom. The fire alarms went off. They're linked to a sprinkler system. Math class sucks when you're soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 89

By WifeOfAFelon - 16/05/2016 17:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to get more hours at work. Instead, the general manager decided that was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 43

By dog ate pop - 16/05/2016 17:27 - Australia - Drummoyne

Today, I got home from work to my daughter crying sitting on her fathers lap, I laid down on the floor to greet our new puppy who licked my face all over, My husband burst into laughter I asked what was going on his reply "she is crying because the puppy ate her poop and just licked you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 16/05/2016 16:27

Today, I couldn't get the day off of work for the SAT resulting in a write up for calling in and telling my manager I can't come in. My friend who works with me got the day off for a video game competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 25

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 304

Today, I'm in my late thirties, I quit my dream job to go back to school in hopes of providing a better future for my family. All my wife does anymore is bitch about how she has to support the family and do everything. I just found out that my grades aren't good enough to continue my college program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 740

Today, I was supposed to bury my childhood dog at my mother's friend's place. I had to wake up at 5 a.m., spent two hours on the bus to be there in time, only for him to tell me that he'd actually buried my dog yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 82

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 398

You deserved it 7 149

Today, after my car got stolen and flipped on its roof three months ago, making it an insurance write-off, and getting a new car a week ago, a drunk driver crashed into my parked car, writing it off. In both instances the drivers were thankfully OK, it's just my insurance premiums skyrocketing, no biggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 76

Today, I was suffering from acid reflux. I was told that drinking water laced with baking soda would help. Nope, all it did was create a huge belch that made me vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 522

You deserved it 3 674