Nearly FML

By 18andgrounded - 14/05/2016 17:29 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I had to show my mother the projects I had completed. I had stored them on my flash drive. When I went to show them to her, I realized that I had picked the, um, wrong flash drive. Now I'm grounded. FML

agreeclassic 129

vote type 1 33

By thisismylifenow - 14/05/2016 16:23 - Denmark

Today I cleaned our whole house by myself, again, because a year ago I offered to do my husband's share that week because he was sick. I've been doing it solo pretty much every week since. FML

agreeclassic 133

vote type 1 18

By tinudaindian - 14/05/2016 16:19 - United States - Kendall Park

Today, my dad gave away $100+ worth of tools, that I bought with my own money to work on our cars, to his friends who are wealthy enough to buy their own. FML

agreeclassic 149

vote type 1 6

By jeff_zz - 14/05/2016 15:32 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, my girlfriend told me about how great I was last night. I just got back from my trip to Peru this morning... FML

agreeclassic 145

vote type 1 8

By Dnamei - 14/05/2016 15:07 - Belgium - Zemst

Today, I had to try to convince my grandmother (who only had daughters) that the fact my baby son had a 'hard on' is completely natural and doesn't mean he's possessed by Satan. I explained this while she was trying to contact a priest for an exorcism. She doesn't believe me, and now shuns him. FML

agreeclassic 154

vote type 1 7

By anonymousy - 14/05/2016 14:51 - Canada - Richmond

Today, I found out that the one and only grocery store in my small ass hick town is closing for good. It's also my job. FML.

agreeclassic 123

vote type 1 13

By hypocrite - 14/05/2016 07:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was talking to a friend about wanting to beat the shit out of this guy he has never met before. Then he gets pissed off at me for wanting to punch a girl at a party for "accidentally" touching his dick more than once at a party....FML

agreeclassic 539

vote type 1 79

By Angrycatlady - 14/05/2016 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cats got back from the vet from being fixed for inappropriate urination. Their medical cones make them too big to enter their litter box so they started urinating all over the floor. FML

agreeclassic 365

vote type 1 43

By ANOMaly - 14/05/2016 05:49 - United States

Today, in my world geography class we were learning about Oceania (I'm Australian). We watched a video on Australian wildlife where a koala got knocked out of a tree, put in a bag and tagged. Everyone looked at me in disgust like it was me abusing it. This is what I get for living in Texas. FML

agreeclassic 540

vote type 1 63

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 05:32 - United States - Bay City

Today, while I was driving home I came upon a traffic jam on a four lane road. Speeds were 55 and ONLY my direction was at a complete stop. Being courteous, I waved an elderly couple though our lanes to turn left. They thought I meant it was all good everywhere. On coming traffic destroyed them.

agreeclassic 445

vote type 1 62

By Helpme - 14/05/2016 05:19 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I started my period, I some how hurt my tail bone, and I am sick. Sneezing and coughing are very bad ideas. Guess what I can't stop doing. FML

agreeclassic 358

vote type 1 31

By got shitfaced - 14/05/2016 05:07 - United States

Today I fucked up. My allergies were acting up while I was picking up dog shit out of the back yard. I sneezed violently and instinctively tried to cover myself. I ended up slapping myself in the face with the plastic glove that I was using to pick up the dog shit.FML

agreeclassic 419

vote type 1 42

By fantasyworld - 14/05/2016 05:02 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I found that McDonalds won't even hire me, FML

agreeclassic 363

vote type 1 77

By Csquared - 14/05/2016 04:55 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I found out my girlfriend has Ovarian Cancer. Just yesterday my mom informed me she has Breast Cancer. FML

agreeclassic 582

vote type 1 26

By Jojo - 14/05/2016 04:13 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house because he was alone and I was ready to get frisky with him after a few weeks of no sex. There was an opened box of latex condoms on his dresser. I am allergic to latex FML

agreeclassic 418

vote type 1 30

By anonymousgirl97 - 14/05/2016 04:13 - United States - Kill Devil Hills

Today, I went to dinner as friends with my ex that I'm still in love with for the first time since we broke up. Neither of us wants to sleep with anyone else because how incredible our sex was. Now we are friends with benefits, but she assured we can't be anything more than that. FML

agreeclassic 330

vote type 1 63

By shayne1122 - 14/05/2016 04:09 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my unemployment claim was denied because leaving work due to a brain injury stemming from domestic violence isn't a "good reason". No money, no job, no memory. FML

agreeclassic 249

vote type 1 15

By Bob - 14/05/2016 03:59 - Japan

Today, I called my gynecologist for my test results. He said, "There are three... Oh wait. There are 7 problems. You need to come in." I have only had sex without a condom once. FML

agreeclassic 218

vote type 1 30

By KielNotKyle - 14/05/2016 03:51 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me saying "you feel more like a friend to me." I got friend zoned by my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 141

vote type 1 11

By anonymous - 14/05/2016 03:49 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I was able to get out of the ticket by pretending I was pregnant, and grabbing my stomach fat saying there was something wrong with the baby and I needed to get to the hospital. I didn't think it would work, but he believed me. FML.

agreeclassic 141

vote type 1 37

By fuckhimtho - 14/05/2016 03:46 - United States

Today, my crush came over for a bonfire. We were making bets on shooting. I lost $50, and he insulted my family and pets before promptly leaving. FML.

agreeclassic 108

vote type 1 10

By shocked&devastated - 14/05/2016 03:43 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out that my ex who broke up with me because he said he needed to experience dating around more is engaged to his gf of one year. We broke up a year ago. FML.

agreeclassic 112

vote type 1 10

By blahdityblah - 14/05/2016 03:41 - United States - Rockford

Today, I put on lingerie to seduce my husband who works nights and sleeps during the day. When he woke up and came downstairs he sighed and said "no, I don't feel good". I walked away and put on my comfiest pajamas. FML

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 19

By keeks - 14/05/2016 03:36 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, my massage therapist told me I "missed a spot" shaving. FML

agreeclassic 101

vote type 1 13

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 03:36 - United States - Dallas

Today, I met an amazing guy only to find out that he wants to get married right away. When I asked how old he really was he said he was 31 and is a teacher. I'm 17. FML

agreeclassic 126

vote type 1 14

By DiamondAddict - 14/05/2016 03:31 - United States - Denison

Today, I was with my mother. On the way, a car full of younger boys pulled up on my side of the window. Instantly I look over and see some of the most beautiful boys. They were whistling, waving, and smiling. I waved back and smiled.. until I realized they were looking directly at my mother.

agreeclassic 129

vote type 1 14

By Tell me you're not interested - 14/05/2016 03:15 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I got stood up again after being asked on a date by a guy in the city, the city being an hour drive away. This is the 5th time in a row, all by different guys on Tinder. FML

agreeclassic 113

vote type 1 16

By jeremyr5678 - 14/05/2016 03:12 - Australia - Pymble

Today, after weeks of waiting I finally went on a holiday to the Solomon Islands. A country known for is amazing tropical climate. The day I arrived a cyclone hit and I was stuck inside with terrible food and had to cancel my 2 week holiday after only being there for 2 days. There goes $3000. FML

agreeclassic 116

vote type 1 14

By lostinmayhem - 14/05/2016 02:55 - United States - Saginaw

Today I read a past conversation my fiance' had with another girl 4 years ago who is "just a friend" and realized 4 years later they're still having the same type of conversations. She wants him, I think he wants her. FML

agreeclassic 116

vote type 1 8

By Lilypop - 14/05/2016 02:54

Today, I was told by my husband that if I didn't come up with $2500 by the end of the day our car would get repossessed. I do not drive said car or any car for that matter. But I somehow managed to get the money together... 5 minutes after the deadline. FML

agreeclassic 105

vote type 1 9

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

agreeclassic 35 320

vote type 1 5 151

Today, my mum is convinced I'm a hoarder. While I was out of the house, she went through my room and threw out stuff I "don't need." This included $500 worth of textbooks, a flash drive with crucial work on it, and my phone charger. FML

agreeclassic 40 718

vote type 1 3 084

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

agreeclassic 53 747

vote type 1 10 298

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and said, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

agreeclassic 24 918

vote type 1 1 907

Today, I wanted to teach my students about history with dominoes. I thought the online video would be wholesome or relevant to history. Nope. The last domino was captioned "HENTAI." Students now get to explain to their parents that I exposed the word Hentai to their vocabulary. FML

agreeclassic 358

vote type 1 928

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said, "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is that low. FML

agreeclassic 27 775

vote type 1 4 781