Nearly FMLs

By ayon1andonly - 02/06/2016 07:43 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, after 2 months into the job I forgot my way to work because for past 2 months I worked night shifts. and today got confused with the road in daylight. After 1.5 hours of search, I get there and I realize I didn't even have work today. Only someone else has the same last name in the rota.FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 35

By anonymous - 02/06/2016 07:36

Today, because my friend's parents are bat shit crazy, I can't go to her graduation. This is a graduation I flew from the states to the Middle East for.

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 44

By e - 02/06/2016 03:07 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I signed up for a dating site. The only people who are messaging me are 13 year old girls. I'm 19. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 38

By One bummed girl - 02/06/2016 01:30 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, My husband and I started packing for our big move. I packed away all of our "toys" and set it on the floor. About a second later heard one of them going off. Hopefully the batteries run out soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 41

By Tastes Like Ass - 02/06/2016 01:01 - United States

Today, I took a deep yawning breath, right as someone walked by and left a nice rank fart in the air. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 30

By bierlyn - 02/06/2016 00:45 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I had a day off. I couldn't enjoy this though, because the walls of my apartment building are so thin, I had the privilege of listening to the two guys to my right having sex. All night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 27

By Horrible luck - 02/06/2016 00:24 - United States - Austin

Today, a guy and I were getting intimate. My legs fell asleep from kneeling for so long and when I stood up I sprained my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 15

By slackjaw - 02/06/2016 00:18 - United States - Austin

Today, I had a filling done. They gave my 4 shots to numb my mouth and I still felt pain during the procedure. Three hours later my face is still numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 18

By security - 02/06/2016 00:13 - United States - Phoenix

Today, at work I just noticed that my co-worker gets paid $12/hr and started working last year. I get paid $10.50/hr and I've been here for 3 years FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 21:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, after nearly 24 hours of not seeing her, my girlfriend walked in and went to bed. When I try to ask her where she was, she said "shhhhh" and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 25

By FortyFuckingSeven - 01/06/2016 20:43 - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that he would not be able to help pay for the rent or bills although compensated by buying all our supplies. Too bad the 47 coupons he gave me are expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 20:28 - Canada - Victoria

Today I went to go buy a new monthly bus pass. The boy at the counter asked me if I wanted an adult pass or a senior one. I'm not even 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 19:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of six years accused me of sleeping with my best friend and her dad, together at the same time. For going four-wheeling with them in the mountains while he was out of the country.

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 12

By daniel_soto13 - 01/06/2016 19:49 - United States - Arlington

Today, my boss called me in. I've been working lately hard for a promotion. I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 17

By Predator1101 - 01/06/2016 18:04 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, the girl I have had a huge crush on texted me herself, which was a first. Excited, I read the message. Currently, I am standing in line purchasing pregnancy test kit for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 24

By dontknow523 - 01/06/2016 12:24 - United States

Today, I'm going on 12+ hours with a toothache from hell as a result of a sinus infection, I took ibuprofen to try and ease it and my body apparently didn't agree because now I'm sick to my stomach. Oh, and my teeth still hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 35

By Nicklas - 01/06/2016 10:47 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I overslept and woke up 20 minutes before starting my shift at work. After a 25 minute power-walk in pouring rain I finally got to the office, only to be greeted by a ''What are you doing here?''. Not only was today my day off, I think I might have caught a cold as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 32

By spotty - 01/06/2016 10:19 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, a small child walked up to me with her friend and asked if my face had been stung by nettles. I didn't have the confidence to tell her it's just terrible acne. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 26

By Ramis182 - 01/06/2016 09:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received $800 worth of checks I've been waiting months for. When I went to deposit them into the ATM, the machine malfunctioned, ate the checks, and failed to deposit anything into my account. The bank says I have to wait 90 days. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 63

By wakesnow - 01/06/2016 07:54 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out that the only thing that would fix my uncontrollable anger and near-constant panic attacks is medication. Today, I also found put that under no conditions would my mother allow me access to this medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 33

By NotTheFavorite - 01/06/2016 07:35 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I asked my mom if she could renew my Microsoft Word account so that I could keep writing the novel I'm working on. She said no. Meanwhile my 15 year old sister has her own art studio and is going on an expensive trip to Europe for the "experience". FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 31

By ViewsFromThe305 - 01/06/2016 06:35 - United States - Miami

Today, I applied for FASFA and learned I don't qualify because my parents make too much money by 0.1% FML.

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 41

By IWishItWasAJoke - 01/06/2016 06:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend said she want's me to be funnier and surprise her more. Turns out breaking into her house with a clown costume was not what she meant. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 05:10 - United States - Gwinn

Today, while in the middle of a break up after 3 and a half years of dating, my soon to be ex boyfriend tried to ask for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 04:05 - United States

Today, I threw an 'end of the year' pool party with my friends. I had my iPad in a waterproof case so I thought it would be cool to take underwater photos of us. All was going well until I took my iPad out to charge, because when I went back in the pool I forgot to close the charging port. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 134

By RoomlessRoommate - 01/06/2016 03:51 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my mother reminded me that her uncle is visiting us for a few days. She neglected to tell me that he's going to be staying in my room - leaving me with nowhere to go for 3 nights. When I complained that I pay rent to stay there and need my room, she said I was selfish. I barely know him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 30

By karrtoffel - 01/06/2016 03:46 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I recently met my cousin who told me that she was a model, she also told me to look her up on Google. So, I did right then and there, she didn't tell me that she was a nude model. I saw more of my cousin than I EVER wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 34

By Scarred for life - 01/06/2016 03:33 - United States

Today, I was looking through my mom's suitcase for a brush but I found her dildo instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 45

By funnylady - 01/06/2016 03:04 - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get my new tires, the people said my card was declined, when I looked at mine and my husbands bank account and saw that 800$ was taken out, I called my husband and he said it was ok because he used it for a good purpose. He spent it on packs of cards for his PC games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 19

By Adorkable9999 - 01/06/2016 02:21 - United States - Denver

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to shoot a bow. Somehow my daughter managed to shoot a bow at my foot, I was standing 3 feet behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 20

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The Top

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed that all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 520

You deserved it 110 230

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 109

You deserved it 4 747

Today, I accidentally let one of my grandma's cats outside, so I tried to get her back in. Unfortunately, this proved to be very difficult, because this damn cat would wait for me to get near her, and as soon as I came close to picking her up, she would leap and run away, then wait for me again. Show-off bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 256

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 574

You deserved it 27 872

Today, the older I get, the more I realise my mom has screwed up my ability to have sex. She used to beat me if she thought I was having impure thoughts, and though she died years ago, when I try to have sex with my girlfriend I hear mom's voice in my head and I go limp. I can’t even masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 162

Today, my neighbour is suing me because she got stung in the face by a wasp, a wasp that came from my garden into hers and stung her, therefore it must be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 66