Nearly FMLs

By pregnantdisaster - 29/05/2016 22:43 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I finally got my cast off from my leg, and while walking up the stairs to my apartment, I fell and I broke that same leg again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 29

By notlongenough - 29/05/2016 22:43 - United States

Today, while at dinner for our three year anniversary I told my boyfriend that I believed there was no better feeling than loving someone with your whole heart. In all seriousness, he glanced up at me and said, "Oh yeah? What's that like?" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 25

By oh - 29/05/2016 21:41 - United States - Chanhassen

Today, I realized why everyone in my class was being so unusually nice to me. They had a meeting secret about how they all felt bad for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 20

By jdoski11 - 29/05/2016 20:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my kindergarten teacher and her husband came over for drinks with my parents. My kindergarten teacher got really drunk and started flirting with me. I'm 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 32

By SpikedGroundhog - 29/05/2016 20:01 - United States - Tuttle

Today, I got back from a 6month trip to England. I had left my dog with my mom while I was away. My mom decided that she didn't want to take care of them so she took them to the pound. When went to get them I was notified that if animals are not adopted in 3 months that they are put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 24

By coolguy51 - 29/05/2016 02:58 - United States

Today, i was looking through my girlfriends Facebook account, only to see that the is not a single picture of me and her relationship status is still. single. We have been dating for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 216

By OMGMum - 29/05/2016 02:08 - Sint Maarten (Dutch part) - Cole Bay

Today, my mother surprised our family by playing a clip of my ex singing a song he wrote. She tells everyone that the song is clearly about me, and that he's so romantic and that I should take him back. She doesn't realize that the song is about anal sex. My father, siblings and uncles do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 64

By OGKatalyst - 28/05/2016 17:59 - Canada - Leamington

Today, I came home from a 3-week vacation. Upon arriving home, I heard voices inside my house. Considering I live alone, I called the cops. Turns out I had left my TV on for the entire 3 weeks. Can't wait to see the electricity bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 196

By otaku nerd - 28/05/2016 16:38 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, bought a new game for the Xbox one, including waiting for the game to install and then download a necessary update will take about 5 weeks. Really wish I'd kept my 360 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 132

By Pandasarekool - 28/05/2016 14:51

Today, I found out that there's a chance that me and my potential boyfriend might be related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 95

By Earths_Venus - 28/05/2016 14:33 - Australia

Today, I got into trouble from my mum for not apologising to my grandpa after he was rude to me. He was angry because I haven't had kids yet. I can't have kids. I don't understand my family's logic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 43

By Kotlopou - 28/05/2016 14:07 - Czech Republic - Ocmanice

Today, I realised just how many things I'm allergic to. In my school, you can choose from 3 meals for lunch. Twice in a row I couldn't eat anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 54

By herewego - 28/05/2016 06:03 - United States - Foley

Today, the night before my anniversary, I had to call poison control. Not for my small child or animal. For my husband. 27 years old next week and can't tell the difference between teaspoon and tablespoon. Happy anniversary! FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 78

By gharkun - 28/05/2016 05:35 - Australia - Nunawading

Today, my housemate called a house meeting. She opened the meeting by asking me to find a new place because I left the toilet seat up too often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 28/05/2016 05:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I caught myself apologizing out loud to my girlfriend after accidentally tossing my dirty laundry onto her. And by girlfriend, I mean anime body pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 201

By jessaurelia - 28/05/2016 03:16 - United States - Temple

Today, I found out I have a cyst on my spine that has been the source of the mind numbing pain I have. It is very rare and only three specialists in the United States can surgically treat it.

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 48

By Sasquatch7788 - 28/05/2016 03:14 - United States - Florence

Today, I had to comfort my 3 month old daughter because my wife's tantrum over ruining our couch, due to her OCD with vacuuming causing a tear in the apholstery, scared the living hell out of our daughter. My wife is still pissed and my daughter screams every time my wife tries to pick her up.FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 40

By Undatable - 28/05/2016 02:48 - United States - Ossining

Today, I was telling a boy a joke that involved a "secret boyfriend". When I finished it, he asked if it was true. I laughed and said it wasn't, to which he responded, "Yeah I sort of knew when you said you had a boyfriend". FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 44

By freddycrabs - 28/05/2016 02:43 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my girlfriend said only reason she dated me in the first place was because I was the only guy that didn't send her a dic pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 125

By Manhattanz - 28/05/2016 02:39 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my brother tried to convince me the Earth is flat and that stars are people that died. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 69

By i8achicken - 28/05/2016 02:20 - United States - Irmo

Today, I tore a ligament (or several) playing ultimate frisbee. My foot swelled up so much that I can't even walk. I have to walk at graduation in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 72

By Not High - 28/05/2016 02:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my eyes were bright red due to my severe allergies, as I'd run out of allergy medication. People won't stop asking me if I'm high. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 74

By anonymous - 28/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I found out I had a final for AP bio 15 minutes before the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 101

By Catastrophy42 - 28/05/2016 01:55 - United States - Hurricane

Today my co-worker insinuated I was pregnant because I had to rush to the bathroom. An unfortunate side effect of the fertility drugs I've taken for the last two months. Yesterday my doctor told me I will likely never carry another child.FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 37

By CRricker - 28/05/2016 01:51 - United States - Spring

Today, I let my dog out so she could do her business. As some joggers were walking by, my dog became curious and pulled a string from my shorts, therefore making my pants fall down in front of the joggers. I could've worn a belt, but I thought "I'm at home, why should I?" They recorded a video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 36

By heather216 - 28/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Borger

Today, I sent a scathing e-mail to my daughter's teacher and principal because she told me the teacher publicly embarrassed her by announcing to the class she had summer school. Turns out she lied for no reason at all, she doesn't even have summer school.

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 52

By Newlywed - 28/05/2016 01:31 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I took off my engagement ring to shower (or so I think) because it's too big, considering we haven't had the time to get it resized yet. We've been searching for over 4 hours and we haven't been able to find it since. It'll take us 3 weeks to get the same one since it was custom made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 278

You deserved it 62

By bellikovruz - 28/05/2016 01:07 - United States - Cincinnati

Today,I found out why my boyfriend has not talked to me in two weeks. He was texting his ex and forgot to text me FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 41

By MedoA - 28/05/2016 00:59 - United States - Rockville

Today,me and my little brother were walking back from school. He tripped and started crying. As I tried to help him people looked at me and thought I was trying to kidnap him. To men ran straight towards me and tackled me, I ended up with 4 bruises on my back and arms. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 24

By bellikovruz - 28/05/2016 00:50 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I found out that the weird noise I thought was my cat ended up being my neighbor in my yard scratching at the window. For no reason. Just to be creepy. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 18

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The Top

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 296

Today, I finally got over my ex and his past of constant lying/cheating/manipulation in our relationship. Only… I'm still living in his house with all of my stuff and my cat, because I've already paid him my half of his mortgage for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 263

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 328

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend's dad by showing off my "impressive" knowledge of cars. When he mentioned she had a problem with her engine, I jokingly told him it was probably the “flux capacitor” that needed adjusting. He stared at me blankly and said, “You know that’s from Back to the Future, right?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 567

Today, my school caught a kid with a firearm, so during our lunch period we had to stay in our classrooms and nobody can leave and nobody can get food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 115

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 193