Nearly FMLs

By AlduintheDragon - 03/06/2016 21:39 - United Kingdom - Rotherham

Today I was coming back from the dentist, and on the way out some guy said "Nice T-Shirt" and I naturally said it back, which got me a confused look. I then realised that he was talking to the guy next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 41

By teacher - 03/06/2016 21:33 - Australia - Roseville

Today, one of my students believed another student that "drinking bleach will clean your organs" guess I will be one student down FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 23

By Route5HereWeCome - 03/06/2016 21:28 - United States - Pinckney

Today, because of construction, I was on my 4th new route to work. I made a wrong turn and got lost. After driving around a while, I ended up somewhere familiar were there was one way I knew to get to the office. It was blocked off by new construction. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 15

By a human - 03/06/2016 21:14 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, i was in the bathroom using my phone, like eveyone else, and i realize i havent moved or made noise, which made a mouse think that no one was in the bathroom. So im sitting on the toilet and theres a mouse just staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 29

By Gigglyrocks - 03/06/2016 21:07 - United States - Hixson

Today, my dog is sick. This means I had to spend the entire day cleaning up bloody diarrhea. Just as I was finishing, my other dog threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 24

By MoMoMoMoMo - 03/06/2016 20:49 - United States - Thiensville

Today, I went over to my friends house to finish a project. He decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of his iPhone 5. I will also mention he has terrible aim because he ended up throwing his phone right into my cheekbone. I'll admit he was right, his phone didn't break, but my face sure did.

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 14

By b - 03/06/2016 20:45 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I finished training at my new part time job. Unfortunately, I wasn't asked back. This wouldn't be so bad but I was also fired from my other job on Wednesday. I was let go from 2 different jobs in 48 hours. Now I have to move back in with my mom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By DrunkRussian - 03/06/2016 18:44 - United States - Salinas

Today, as often hap[pens, my mother in law brought over about $200 worth of groceries, because, as she puts it: "I know you don't have a job!" She also tells everyone that I don't have a job. I own a small business that employs 8 people and make great money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 54

By llamapartyy - 03/06/2016 18:36 - Netherlands

Today, as I worked as a pizza delivery girl, I didn't get priority on the road when I should've gotten it. The other driver seemed to brake, but when I continued, he suddenly hit the gas, causing me to brake so hard I slipped and fell; he stuck out his tongue, smiled, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 22

By ChickenNugget88 - 03/06/2016 17:57 - United States

Today, I was finally able to get some sleep after being up for 3 days. Had my newborn baby laying on my chest sleeping. All was good until her prune juice decided to kick in. All over my chest, shoulders, hair, blanket and pillow! FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 33

By Alwaysme0 - 03/06/2016 17:38 - United States - Miami

Today, I realized that I started my period five days early. How? Because the cute guy behind me at Walmart pointed out. I was buying tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 16

By doggo - 03/06/2016 17:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today my dog threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 18

By Tired - 03/06/2016 17:19 - Australia

Today my friend got called up interviewed and employed by a prestigious company- all because his name was dropped 3 years ago to them. He hasn't worked since he studied back then. I've worked furiously for 3 years in the same industry and barely gained anything. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 19

By RottenBroccoli - 03/06/2016 17:10 - United States - Chicago

Today, my ex just proposed to my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 20

By Givemestrength - 03/06/2016 17:04 - United States - Largo

Today, my husband came home with a school bus. He wants us to convert it, live in it, and move to South Dakota. He also showed me the land he bought so we "have somewhere viable to live". FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 26

By anonymous - 03/06/2016 16:24 - United States - Dublin

Today, it is my birthday. I had made plans to go out to a movie and lunch with a sweet guy who I had a crush on and things went great...or so I thought. Later I texted him to see if we were dating or not and his response? "Something felt off" and "It's me, not you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 03/06/2016 16:03 - United States - Chicago

Today I was offered a full time job with good pay and health care at the Management group I've been working with part time since January. I went to tell my parents and my mom told me my cousin overdosed before I could finish the text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 14

By sherri_baby88 - 03/06/2016 15:36 - United States - Evans

Yesterday was my 11th wedding anniversary. I'd made plans to surprise my husband and get spicy later on. When I woke up I found my period had started during the night. It was definitely not the red I'd planned on wearing.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 12

By Anaconda - 03/06/2016 15:36 - United States - Gallipolis

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to put a strobe light in my room. Now my Guinea pig is having seizures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 6

By VexiVee - 03/06/2016 15:21 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my boss told me I was being put on performance review because I'm not earning my salary. I don't earn a salary, I only get paid commission. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 6

By uglyaf - 03/06/2016 15:14

Today, I finally was called pretty for the first time. Too bad it came from a creepy old man standing behind me at 7/11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 7

By Mr_Ludger - 03/06/2016 15:10 - United States - Pocatello

Today, My coworker called in sick because he had a sunburn. Management made me cover his shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 14

By tiredandsad - 03/06/2016 15:06 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, after moving back from university the night before, I got told off for leaving a mess on the floor of my room. No food or anything, just things from my flat that hadn't been sorted. Apparently my parents "won't put up with this shit", what shit? FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 7

By NoHaloHali - 03/06/2016 15:04 - United States - Wheat Ridge

Today, I took a shower because I'm on period. Just as the water hit my body and the blood ran, my mom opened the shower curtain without a warning. Startled, I whipped around to cover myself and flecked her white pants with drops of my blood. She yelled at me for not wearing a pad in the shower. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 8

By austinb89 - 03/06/2016 14:53 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after not having sex with my girlfriend for months, I told her about a dream I had where we had sex at my work; her response was "at least your getting some in your dreams".

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 9

By Itineranthuman - 03/06/2016 14:50 - United States - Dallas

Today, I showed up at 5 am for a flight that doesn't leave until 11. It wouldn't be so bad if the "waiting area" weren't outdoors, in the south Texas sun and heat. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 9

By ShitStorm - 02/06/2016 13:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I got up super early to study for my exam and drank about 4 cups of coffee. About half way through my exam, I got the coffee shits and spent almost the rest of the exam in the bathroom, rendering my early study session worthless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 119

By Sirlaughsalot - 02/06/2016 11:05 - Norway

Today, I was asked to do a commercial. They couldn't pay me for my work, but it would be a great experience as an actor. I sat in the car for three hours only to be told my scene was been cut because it was no longer relevant. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 41

By destination300_41 - 02/06/2016 10:05 - Belgium - Brussels

Today I went to my son's school to have a chat with his teacher. The boys were playing soccer. Suddenly, they kicked the ball over a fence in the farmers field. Helpful as I am, I went to get the ball. When climbing back over it, my pants got stuck, and tore between the legs. Before the chat! FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 30

By KillerChipmunk - 02/06/2016 08:03 - United States - Concord

Today, I wore my glasses just like nearly every other day. I went to see a movie and took them off since I don't need them for distance. I have no idea where they went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 48

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The Top

Today, my 73 year-old grandfather asked me to help him search up something on his PC. As soon as I typed in the first letters, one of his previous searches popped up, that being, "Lesbian porn." I still feel not so great about seeing that, and the fact that I myself am a lesbian and he knows that isn't helping much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 358

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 143

You deserved it 5 244

Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 90

Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 2 404

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 750

You deserved it 9 640

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug-addicted friends into my home while I was away, where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 5 425