Nearly FMLs

By smsblue - 05/06/2016 02:40 - United States - Mentor

Today, I went on a first date at a casual restaurant. My date was a little bit late, so I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I then came out to see him, topless, being escorted out by management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 29

By Albee - 05/06/2016 02:34 - Canada - Moncton

Today, after work I returned to find not only had my boyfriend bought multiple life size storm troopers, but he also dressed them up and placed them around the house. Which would have been fine, if it didn't scare the hell out of me causing me to fly down a flight of stairs and crack 2 ribs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 28

By Alaina - 05/06/2016 02:31 - United States

Today, my bosses son was with her at work, he is totally wierd. All through work he was staring at me. And then he had his mom get my number for him just as I was escaping. Now I have to be nice or I'll get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 22

By AtLeastHesTheCoolUncle - 05/06/2016 02:19 - United States - Destin

Today, my best friend met my uncle. Via tinder. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 23

By moddeeT - 05/06/2016 01:58 - United States - Medford

Today while walking into my bedroom my foot got tangled on some dirty underwear and my other foot tripped on it. Now I have a broken toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 48

By stuckwithme - 05/06/2016 01:57 - United States - Gaffney

Today, my boyfriend of six years and fiancé since February told me he's felt "stuck with me" since I moved in back in January because he would feel guilty if he broke up with me and sent me back to my childhood home because my father abused me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 20

By goodbyecollege - 05/06/2016 01:35 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had a very important test. it wast until I had 5 minutes left that I realized I had been recording all of my answers in the question behind the one I was on.

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 39

By sdeprived - 05/06/2016 01:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, to start my day at work I fell and broke several items along with spraining my ankle. If that wasn't enough I later accidentally stabbed myself with a pair of scissors. I think I need to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 25

By Disappointed - 05/06/2016 01:13 - United States - Westbrook

Today, after planning a date with a woman I really like for over a week. She cancels 2 hours after the scheduled time. Her reason? She got drunk and caught up in a concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 13

By grim af - 05/06/2016 01:08 - United Kingdom - Salford

Today, I put a pizza in the microwave to reheat & placed a plastic lid on it. When I took the pizza out & removed the lid I saw a dead spider on my pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 13

By Sir_Cow - 05/06/2016 01:06 - Denmark - Drag?r

Today, my mom bought a 6 month supply of toilet paper, 1 ply toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 24

By stuckwithme - 05/06/2016 00:49 - United States - Gaffney

Today, my boyfriend of six years and I got into an argument and not only did he bring up my childhood abuse but told me that he's been wanting to break up with me since I moved in back in January but since I can't go back home, he said he's stuck with me. I feel horrible.

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 18

By blackangel1494 - 05/06/2016 00:46 - United States - Madison

Today, my ex called me and wanted to know why we broke up over a year ago. He apparently doesn't remember that he raped me. FML..

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 12

By sot07 - 05/06/2016 00:40 - United States - Sartell

Today, I pulled out 7 gray hairs. I'm 17 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 16

By Trying Not to Scream - 05/06/2016 00:30 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had a cystoscopy performed to figure a reason for constant UTIs. I was told I would feel a slight burn for the next two days. Bullshit. It feels like a barbed wire when I pee. UTIs don't even feel as bad as this. I'm scared to drink anything at the moment.

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 14

By EnglishIsHad - 05/06/2016 00:17 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, I wanted to do something fun for my English class before their phonetics test, so I brought them a copy of Dr. Seuss' "Fox in Socks." The first person read it as "Fucks n' Sucks." They're not ready for the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 15

By cockblocked - 05/06/2016 00:11 - United States - Houston

Today, I was sitting in the bathroom having some me time and watching porn on my phone. Right when I was about to blow my load, my Wells Fargo app came up and closed my porn tab. Even my bank won't let me get any. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 16

By anonymous - 05/06/2016 00:00 - United States - Wichita

Today, My high school crush of 3 years admitted to also sharing feelings for me to bad I'm being deployed and won't be home for 9 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 13

By Sicxlilsis - 04/06/2016 23:53 - United States - Alhambra

Today, I found out the new person we just hired is earning way more than I am per hour. I've been working here for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 8

By ChickenNugget88 - 04/06/2016 23:46 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me he will stay up with the baby tonight so I can finally get some rest. He ended up getting drunk and passing out before the sun even started to go down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 23:02 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, I asked a co-worker for some information in a work-related issue. He told me I would know if I was ever at the office, and walked away. I was out of work for 4 weeks due to pneumonia and a heart infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 8

By Graceful Hippie - 04/06/2016 21:40 - United States - Cordova

Today, while packing up our campsite, I tripped over a tree root. Falling, I managed to tear ligaments in my wrist and hyperextend my thumb. I also hit my face on a nearby chair, resulting in a black eye. All 20 plus people in our group, including my husband saw this and laughed. No one helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 13

By BigDan925 - 04/06/2016 20:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk to an early dinner when I felt a warm spray. I looked up at the sky, it was clear. I felt it again and looked up at the apartment building. I found the source. It was a guy giggling while peeing out the window.

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 20:48 - United Kingdom - Bromley

Today, my dog got taken in for an operation to remove a used condom he'd swallowed from his stomach. Me and my boyfriend have not used condoms for a year. The operation cost me almost all my savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 7

By Proud_Texan722 - 04/06/2016 20:24 - United States - Commerce

Today, it's my half brothers birthday party. He told me last week that I'm the only person he really wanted to see, because I'm always working and live two hours away. I worked late last night and just woke up. His party ends in thirty minutes, and he's only 10. I ruined his day...FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 20

By Jergenator - 04/06/2016 20:08 - United States - Dayton

Today, While working at the paint store, A older woman brought in a old gallon of paint to shake up. While in the shaker the lid popped off, causing bright red paint to cover my manager and the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 8

By memesmakedreams - 04/06/2016 18:40 - United States - Brevard

Today, I had to work a double shift. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't my birthday, and I had not asked off 3 months ago. I'm missing my party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 8

By SoulEaterSE - 04/06/2016 17:27 - United States - Charlotte

Today, it's been 3 days since I went to my Latin teacher's retirement party. It’s also been 3 days since my shit turned green from the green frosted cupcakes we had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 30

By IBeatBoxAtHome - 04/06/2016 17:25 - United States - Eagle

Today, I realized the only reason I work out all the time is to compensate for how ugly I am. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 36

By Spacemariles - 04/06/2016 15:16 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today i slipped on paint and broke my coccyx. I'd laugh it off only its the latest in a string of injuries this year has been throwing at me including a heart attack, concussion and a dislocated shoulder. I'm 21 and broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 26

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The Top

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 386

You deserved it 3 423

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 587

You deserved it 5 059

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 102

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 848

You deserved it 5 404

Today, I'm getting married. I woke up with no voice to say my I dos with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 595

You deserved it 254

Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 473

You deserved it 71 695