Nearly FMLs

By PhoenixChick - 27/05/2016 14:29 - United States - Champaign

Today, I got heatstroke at my new indoor office job. It's been in the 80s all week and our tiny office has no ventilation. Plus I'm on my feet moving boxes all day. Turns out, they not only refuse to turn on the A/C until it hits above 90 outside, but they only turned off the heat two days ago. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 13

By WhatIsThatNonexistantSmell? - 27/05/2016 14:11 - United States - Frankfort

Today, I realized my paranoia of smelling bad in front of other people has reached an all time low, when I had a vividly clear nightmare about it. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 19

By Shay_Shay97 - 27/05/2016 14:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a huge Final exam that was worth 20% of my grade. In my rush to get out of the house, I forgot my laptop. The same one that had the assignment and sources for the research paper. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 26

By youvegottobekittenme - 27/05/2016 13:57 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend who I haven't seen for 2 weeks. He was telling me how much he was looking forward to coming home which I thought was very sweet, until he said "yeah I cant wait to see my cat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 13:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my boss spent so long screaming at me about my incompetence and bad attitude that we missed a bid deadline for a major project. My boss doesn't know how to log on to the bidding site, and I was up all night correcting the mistakes he had made in our proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 13

By lolnokek - 27/05/2016 13:45 - United States - Dallas

Today, my younger sister is taller than me. I'm 5 years older than her, I am male, and I am 17. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 45

By Not a welcome alarm - 27/05/2016 13:34 - United States - Edgerton

Today, I was woken up by having a WiFi router fall on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 18

By Carl - 27/05/2016 13:30 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my husband and I had our third marriage counseling session. The only reason I was going was in hopes that the therapist would see he needs help. At the end of the session, she told me she wanted to start doing one on one sessions... with only me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 29

By electro - 27/05/2016 13:26 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, after hours of drilling routes for cable to be ran in for this new complete my company is wiring, I find out that I did everything completely wrong. I was a foot too short on everything. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 19

By Princess Leia - 27/05/2016 13:25 - United States

Today, while spending some "quality time" with my boyfriend, he let his nerd flag fly! He's a really big Star Wars fanboy and decided to pretend his penis was lightsaber...making sounds effects with each thrust. That was fine and all. What wasn't fine? When he came, he said, "I am your father!" FML.

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 14

By CDWDarkstorm - 27/05/2016 13:21 - United States

Today I was going to propose to my gf of 9 years. Supposed to be a good day. My 4000 dollar computer melted due to fan malfunction, warranty ended two months ago. I have stumped my toes twice, got punched in the face by a guy trying to avoid a bug, and my gf left me for another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 13

By Choots - 27/05/2016 13:10 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, i was forced to go to church with a client and his family. they kept asking me about my mother and her husband. they are jehovas witnesses, and i really need this job. but im too scared to admit to them that my mother is both wiccan, and married to her wife.

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 15

By JustWantToGraduate - 27/05/2016 13:10 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, in order to get to school I had to drive my dad to work. I got lost because he, a truck driver, gave me bad directions. After solving that I stopped at a gas station to find they dont offer cash back and I don't have enough money to use the ATM. $5 might keep me from Graduating in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 10

By LifehasLemons - 27/05/2016 05:49 - United States - Reno

Today, my dad brought home yet another different brand of dog food. Today was also the day I spent twenty minutes washing and trimming around my dog's butt-hole, because he had gotten diarrhea stuck in his fur. What a fun way to spend a week night. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 69

By why me?? - 27/05/2016 05:33 - United States

Today, I had a random drug test,I'm in the navy and used to waiting for long times,after standing around for 4 1/2 hours to finally have my turn I couldn't go. Why? Because the woman monitoring me sat on her stool rocking back and forth while humming and trying to make eye contact with me. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 27

By pissed - 27/05/2016 05:10 - United States - Plainview

Today, I finally finished the short story that is my last assignment of high school! I also found a student film trailer on YouTube with the EXACT same plot. It's due tomorrow and I have to come up with a completely new story, I guess I won't be sleeping tonight FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 49

By BadPuns - 27/05/2016 03:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up with pitch black spots under my eyes. My father thinks I am depressed and my sister thinks I have cancer. The issue? Major sleep deprivation from finals. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 50

By Desmaia - 27/05/2016 02:53 - United States - Greensboro

Today I discovered my first singular gray hair. I am 26 and I've known others to grey even earlier, that's ok. However, this gray hair has emerged from the carpet, not the drapes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 43

By i_hate_myself - 27/05/2016 02:48 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I got a failing grade on my pre-calc final. After I broke the news to my dad, he slammed the front door to his apartment building as a joke. The vibrations caused the wasp nest above the doorway to fall and sting me. I'm highly allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 34

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 01:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my fiance threatened to break up with me because I said her sister couldn't afford to live somewhere expensive. They all took offense to that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 46

By jadziadaxds1990 - 27/05/2016 01:01 - United Kingdom - Taunton

Today I went to the hospital for my scheduled MRI scan which is an hour drive from where I live. The receptionist said my appointment is scheduled at a different date. I advised that today is the 26/05 .The receptionist said yes but the date for the appointment is the 26/05/2017 not 26/05/2016.FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 33

By liftthetrucks - 26/05/2016 23:22 - United States - Naperville

Today, when i was painting my room after not sleeping for 2 days, I decided to take a nap. After I woke up my 5 year old brother was smiling and my back was covered in paint. I had a swim meet in 20 minutes and it was a 15 minute drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 32

By The sadness is real - 26/05/2016 22:52 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I was getting my cast off my broken foot a week before I'm suppose to take a class trip to Europe. I was told prior to the visit that I was ready to be in a walking boot and that I'd be fine. Turns out I need to be in another cast for 3 more weeks. Guess who's not going to Europe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 34

By moo - 26/05/2016 22:48 - United States - Lake City

Today, at the beginning of my shift, my resident thought it would be funny to soak my shoes, which I recently put in memory foam soles. My feet have been wet for 9 hours and will stay wet for 3 more before I can go home and take them off.

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 15

By ifuckuprandomly - 26/05/2016 22:45 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I somehow managed to break my parents up by calling to see how they were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 19

By Awk4Life - 26/05/2016 21:26 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I tried comforting my friend who just had a nasty breakup with her boyfriend. While she clung to me I accidentally got a boner as girls don't normally touch me. So I desperately tried to shift myself over, but she held on tighter. Now I feel like an asshole for getting hard as she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 34

By mylonius - 26/05/2016 21:23 - United States - Fergus Falls

Today, my friend got a new ski mask. I asked if I could try it on, and they said I could. Right after I put it on, I sneezed. They told me not to return it until it was washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 24

By draculette - 26/05/2016 21:11 - Netherlands

Today, I discovered that the Dracula book I had been reading with difficulty for an English class was way above my level, and I could just have read the simplified version. I spent many hours on that book trying to understand it, and still didn't make the deadline for the book report. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 18

By Dear_Spottedleaf - 26/05/2016 20:47 - United States - Cibolo

Today, I realized that I can actually differentiate my cats by the sounds they make in the litterbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 27

By lifesucks - 26/05/2016 19:01

Today, I got fired from work because I have to attend my friends wedding in Chicago whom I have known for 12 years and I can't miss it. I told my boss the day I got hired and she claimed she "forgot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 15

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I was helping my Dad with an internet issue he was having. He gave me his tablet to check it out. I opened the browser, and there were 8 tabs open. All of them were PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 164

Today, a soccer ball hit my car while I was going 75 mph on the freeway during my drive home. I still don't know how to explain it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 121

Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 188

You deserved it 46 552

Today, my dog has a better social life than I do. He has more playdates scheduled than I have actual human plans this month. I'm officially my dog's social secretary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 225

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to Coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 840

You deserved it 15 731

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 478

You deserved it 3 448