Nearly FMLs

By castawaycxlum - 27/07/2016 07:13 - United States - Compton

Today, I caught my "asexual" boyfriend in bed with my bestfriend. The same bestfriend who also claims to be "asexual" too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 108

By TSDerandel - 26/07/2016 21:58 - United States

Today, I was woken up around 2 in the morning to my father entering my room to urinate in the cat box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 66

By laur_laur1234 - 26/07/2016 20:01 - United States - Eden Prairie

Today, while working at Caribou Coffee, a woman came and asked for a Starbucks drink. After politely telling her we didn't have that drink, I gave her other similar options. When she received her drink, she insisted that it was wrong, that I was a bitch, and that she now needed her money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 87

By Fast Food - 26/07/2016 18:44 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I had to work past quitting time on the same day I just happened to have a job interview down the street. I wasn't sure how to tell my manager that I needed to leave because I had an interview, so I nearly missed it and came in drenched in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 86

By Dlpnlvr85 - 26/07/2016 18:15

Today, I fell down my stairs on my tailbone. I've been in so much pain that I can't even sit. X-rays showed a hairline fracture and I was told that'll it take 8-12 weeks before I finally get relief from pain. So for the next 3+ months, it'll be a pain in the ass to sit, literally! FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 76

By pimmster - 26/07/2016 14:48 - United Kingdom - Smethwick

Today, after spending the week with my parents, my daughter came home so ill I had to take her to hospital. Apparently, when I confronted my parents about this, they said she'd been like this all week, but didn't do anything because 'God would fix her'. Turns out she has pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 98

By Really people? - 26/07/2016 14:46 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I am moving 2300 miles across the country for work, and after trying for 3 weeks (and sending countless emails) to find some roommates where I am moving to, I have exactly zero meet and greets for roommates. I don't know where I'll live when I get there in 3 days. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 90

By bobles - 26/07/2016 14:32

Today, I noticed an ant on my arm while biking. I stopped to brush it off, then I noticed I had stopped in the middle of a huge ant hill. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 91

By anonymous - 26/07/2016 13:47

Today, I was on a plane flying home hungover. It was a one hour flight, and I managed to fall asleep on an old lady. I snored in her ear, and woke myself up with a fart. It was loud, it shocked us both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 149

By wake up call - 26/07/2016 13:45 - United States - Southlake

Today, my debit card got stopped by the bank because I went out and only got a beer at the bar rather than 10 or 11 drinks. They described it as "unusual activity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 89

By Egtat216 - 26/07/2016 13:22 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my brother took me to the red light district in our city for my 18th. Not to hire a prostitute but to throw a cake a one, who then chased us down the road and reported us to the police. I just wanted a nice meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 68

By Timeforwalkingshoes - 26/07/2016 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I'm so broke that my roommates brought up evicting me if I don't catch up on rent. Then my car was repossessed right as I as I was going to go buy another box of ramen noodles to last the week. Now I'm broke, carless and hungry. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 66

By HollyQuinn - 26/07/2016 12:54 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend, who's moving house, took apart his bed and found a patch of dried cat sick under it. His cat was ill 2 months ago, and I told him then that his bedroom smelt gross. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 49

By MaxwellingtonBae - 26/07/2016 12:39

Today, my mom accidentally hit my dog. She didn't see him and she felt so bad. She started cuddling him and kissing at him. If she accidentally hits me, she just laughs about it. I wonder who's the favorite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 75

By Thalia - 26/07/2016 12:06 - Morocco - Settat

Today I recieved a text from a friend asking how my family vacation is going. I told her it was fantastic, that it's the best holiday I've had in years. I lied. I couldn't tell her I hate it, fell out with everyone and spent last night up until 3am watching Jimmy Fallon videos on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 64

By Anonymous - 26/07/2016 11:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told him I didn't want anything I just wanted to spend some time with him, to which he replied no he couldn't because he was doing something he wanted to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 26/07/2016 11:14 - Australia - Lidcombe

Today, I lost 10% of my marks on a school history assignment because I submitted it literally 1 minute late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 158

By Deathsdoor - 26/07/2016 10:35 - Australia - Caloundra

Today, i"m so sick I can barely move. The drugs aren't working. Tomorrow is when I'm supposed to fly out, for a month on a huge, beneficial to my career, tour. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 39

By tired - 26/07/2016 10:06 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I have a job interview early in the morning. I have insomnia, so I woke up early the day before to try to fall asleep earlier in the night. It's now 3am. I've been thrashing around in bed for around 5 hours now thanks to anxiety. I guess that plan failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 52

By HireMe&SaveMe - 26/07/2016 10:00

Today, I realized the only reason I have a job is because I'm seeing my bosses daughter but she's a pig and rarely showers. I can't break up with her or I lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 56

By Yeasty - 26/07/2016 09:36

Today, I found out everyone in my family thinks I have a yeast infection because of my sudden interest in eating yogurt. The grocery store just started carrying the brand I like, but they don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 28

By Theaterkid - 26/07/2016 08:31 - Germany

Today, after spending days obsessively practising for an audition, I was informed by the director that I don't really have a shot because all the female have already been filled. Thanks for the heads up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 29

By tiredandannoyed - 26/07/2016 08:20

Today, I got on a series of connecting flights. My first flight was delayed, but I was advised to take it anyway. I arrived in time to watch my next flight leave from the gate. Now I'm stranded in an airport, unable to sleep, and in possession of a hotel coupon that might or might not work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 29

By KneeKaps - 26/07/2016 08:08

Today, I was on my way home from a long night shift, exhausted beyond belief. While walking down my block, I thought I noticed a shadow darting towards me. I freaked out and jumped out of the way, twisting my ankle in the process. It was a plastic bag. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 55

By BreakingBed - 26/07/2016 07:44 - Germany

Today, my bed broke down in the middle. My crush offered to fix it for me, but I can't have people over due to my severe anxiety and I'm too broke to buy a new bed. I guess I'll be sleeping in an L-shape for a while. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 52

By StarGazer - 26/07/2016 07:30 - Germany

Today, my crush and I decided to climb the roof of his apartment building to look at the stars. I got stuck while trying to squeeze through the scaffolding. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 49

By dogluver - 26/07/2016 07:12 - United States - Culpeper

Today, my dog decided to get in my bed while I was asleep. I woke up with tons of bug bites. She has fleas. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 53

By paleaf - 26/07/2016 05:42 - United States - Yukon

Today, I wore shorts to work for the first time ever, since it was over 100 degrees. I immediately got complimented on my "white tights." I wasn't wearing tights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 116

By Knittedbirch - 26/07/2016 00:51 - United States - Florence

Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday was for me to get over my anxiety disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 73

By ReineXre - 26/07/2016 00:49 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to see other people, and later that day, as I was walking home from being with friends, I saw him and my sister making out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 50

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out the medication my doctor gave me for depression is making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 246

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 511

You deserved it 4 477

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 681

You deserved it 15 773

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 830

You deserved it 4 583

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 383

You deserved it 3 529

Today I returned home after three months of vacation. None of my friends had even realized I had left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 326

You deserved it 590