Nearly FMLs

By LostinPlace - 08/05/2017 03:35 - Georgia

Today, I was diagnosed with clinical depression after breaking down in tears in front of my third grade for the third time in a month and having my boss demand that I go out and see a professional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 29

By "Dreamer5393" - 08/05/2017 01:29

Today my mom, whom I'm very close with, forgot my birthday and instead had a rummage sale to sell most of my stuff. fml

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 8

By mylifeisthedefinitionofdisasterous - 08/05/2017 01:15

Today, I caught my 9 year old brother trying to hump his own leg.FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 16

By lonely - 07/05/2017 21:10

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mom is still more caring about me, than my actual mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 9

By Total embarrassment - 07/05/2017 20:39

Today I woke up to the smell of shit and puke. I then remembered that last night I was drinking wine with my boyfriends entire family. I then got too drunk went upstairs, some how shit myself on my boyfriends bedroom carpet. BF was too drunk, so his mom ended up cleaning my shit off the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 149

By iwannamovenow - 07/05/2017 16:09

Today, at 1:30am, my roommate's boyfriend rang at our door, as he has for the past six nights. She says she doesn't want to go downstairs to open the door for him and she can't buzz him in unless he rings the bell first. There goes my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 776

You deserved it 417

By tami - 07/05/2017 07:15

Today, I told my whole family for the first time that I'm bisexual. I have been for 5 years. My dad who is very homophobic and my mum and brother don't believe me and think I'm joking cause I've never been with a girl, FML.

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 24

By Lithos27 - 07/05/2017 05:15

Today, after not having had a bowel movement in five days, I went to the doctor for some laxatives. Now I can't stop pooping...FML.

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 33

By "girlsncomics" - 06/05/2017 20:44 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, after two weeks of living with a new roommate I found out she actually doesn't like my cooking because it's too flavorful and spicy for her. She has been throwing out my leftover meals. Our third roommate loves my cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 12

By muddbunny - 06/05/2017 22:32 - United States - Oxford

Today, I ran into my ex boyfriend while I was with my current boyfriend at the mall. My current boyfriend was carrying my VS bag and my ex smirked and said what'd she get ya? FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 21

By "Alexis Leann Winter" - 06/05/2017 17:44 - United States - Medford

Today, I noticed my 3 month old German shepherd pup chewing on something odd and white . Upon closer inspection, I realized it was my used bloody tampon that I had thrown away in the bathroom trash an hour ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 23

By "chrddajr" - 06/05/2017 20:48

Today, at work I go on break out to my car tp find it on cinder blocks. I go back in freaking out to find out the cooks thought it'd be funny to "hide" my tires. Who does this! And when did they get the time! FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 13

By ImOnly140.. - 06/05/2017 19:30

Today, I nailed my solo at my school's choir concert. After the performance, a little boy went up to me and said "I thought fat girls only sing Opera!" His Father just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 13

By Meow - 06/05/2017 17:25

Today, I have been without a man so long that instead of fantasizing about wild liasons with a hot hunk I now daydream about snuggling and petting my cats while reading a good book. Even in my fantasies I seem doomed to inevitable cat-riddled spinsterhood. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 13

By Mel - 06/05/2017 17:22

Today I have to put my one year old cat back up for adoption. He keeps peeing on my bed while I'm away and on me while I'm sleeping. I don't have a working dryer. I don't have any clean blankets left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 36

By no more searching - 06/05/2017 02:54

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time. It wasn't my first time having sex, but it was the first time a condom got lost inside me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 22

MrCabbagewank tells us more.

MrCabbagewank 10

Saturday 6 May 2017 2:09

OP here- this FML happened a while ago, but I thought I'd give it time to spare the embarrassment of my boyfriend.

By sadface - 06/05/2017 01:42

Today, I met my cousin's fiancée's brother for the first time. He looks at me for a moment, and says, "looking at your face just makes me sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 4

By poor mummy - 04/05/2017 23:43

Today, I was changing my two year old son's nappy. He ran off butt naked and in the 3 seconds it took for me to follow him, he managed to curl out the world's biggest shit on my stairs. I spent the remainder of the day bleaching my carpet and wondering why I ever decided to procreate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 27

By "insurgent" - 04/05/2017 21:41

Today, my septum piercing got infected. Today is also the day my new boss told me if I don't remove my septum by tomorrow, he'll fire me. It hurts to even touch my nose and there's no way I can get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 80

By what have i done - 04/05/2017 17:04

Today, my ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend married each other, have dream careers and a great life. I dropped them five years ago because I felt they were holding me back. Today I have no friends, no relationship, and a shit job. Guess that backfired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 04/05/2017 16:28

Today, I found out that one of my close friends is extremely racist towards Mexicans. I'm half Mexican, and none of my other friends have said anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 7

By Happy boy - 04/05/2017 16:11

Today, I, despite not having fallen sick for literally the entire year, managed to go down with a cold and a fever the exact day my year's final exams start. Timing couldn't have been any better. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 4

By iknow - 04/05/2017 23:29 - Australia - Dunlop

Today I lost over an hour of my life trying to access my old Apple-id account despite their support assuring me that the emails I received were just phishing. Turns out someone had hacked my account, added someone else's credit card details and proceeded to spend about $200 on games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 04/05/2017 06:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

today while at work I noticed that my cat peed on my shoes . I was very emberrased and hurried to clean them. thinking I was ok I returned to work. my supervisor approaches me only to tell me there have been complaints of my hygiene. I was forced to watch a one hour video on hygiene

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 11

By Hovh - 04/05/2017 14:12

Today, I went to visit my new older boyfriend, a year after me and my ex broke up, turns out that my new boyfriend coaches my ex's football team, and I will now apparently be seeing them on a regular baisis. My ex was very shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 14

By abouttothrowup - 04/05/2017 21:01 - Australia - Melbourne

Today I was thirsty so I went to the cupboard and found a bottle of apple juice. But not long after taking a huge mouthful did I realize that it was not apple juice. It was a bottle that my parents had recycled and used to store cooking oil for camping. They forgot to label it with OIL. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 32

By bucker - 04/05/2017 10:11

Today I received a text from my boyfriend that he was cheating on me. My natural reaction was to cut his balls off. But then he admitted he had been diagnosed with an HIV because he was having sex with his "best friend" (which is a guy) karma is a bitch FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 12

By Sleepingaloneforever - 04/05/2017 02:28 - United States

Today, I learned that the rest of the world finds it completely appropriate to sleep in a bed with a friend or sibling. I am 30, and never knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 14

By PSSword - 04/05/2017 06:53

Today I was sneaking some chocolate during my diet. Just a couple of pieces to suck on. It somehow broke my braces. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 42

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 427

You deserved it 51 592

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 253

You deserved it 7 562

Today, I met my future in-laws, two lesbian ladies. Can you imagine that, two mothers-in-law judging me for daring to want to marry their precious baby boy? By the time we left, it felt like they’d extracted every iota of information about me through my skin with sandpaper and rusty barbecue tongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 892

Today, I came back from a two week vacation. As I walked in the door, my boyfriend greeted me with a "Hey, honey! Could you clean the crockpot?" It still had the chicken in it from my going away dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 179

You deserved it 3 706

Today, I had a stranger scream at me that I was a whore and I was trying to steal her boyfriend. She then said my full name, stating my previous hair colour, my recent activities and that her boyfriend had been my year nine dance partner. I officially have a stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 725

You deserved it 3 692

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 373

You deserved it 12 882