Nearly FMLs

By "jazzterchic" - 28/04/2017 23:31 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my best friends girlfriend told me about the problems in their relationship and about how she has a problem with his "girl best friend". She doesn't realize she's talking about me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 7

By worriedimdying - 29/04/2017 05:40

Today I found out it will be another two months before I can have the tests I need on my stomach pain. I'm in constant pain and can barely sleep. I'm exhausted and struggling, but can't take anything due being allergic to most pain medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 2

By leahkasscar - 29/04/2017 03:58

Today, i realized how emotional my period makes me, when I started to tear up because the Starbucks that I was in was out of brownies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 6

By Sky - 28/04/2017 18:02 - United States - Conway

Today I was lying in my hammock masturbating. It was fun, but when I came inside I realized I had forgotten that my mom had a student over to tutor and the window had a direct view of the hammock. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 28/04/2017 23:45

Today, I reached the pinnacle of my loneliness when I figured out how to get cuddled by a pillow during a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 2

By Atim - 28/04/2017 21:40

I have been sober for 3 years. My roomate left a home drug test in my car. My girlfriend reached in my center console for the phone charger and the test landed in her lap. Now she thinks I've been lying to her for the last year and we broke up. I was so upset I started using again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 24

By "ExtremeMemeDream" - 28/04/2017 20:53

I was enjoying my day at the pool when my ankle slammed into the staircase used to get out there water. I shrug it off, and keep swimming. Five minutes pass, and my ankle is BURNING. I get out the pool to find a 1-inch deep cut in my ankle, gushing blood out. I got four stitches for that cut.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 12

By KaD - 28/04/2017 12:26 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I called Fedex about the pickup they never made yesterday. They not only had my street number wrong but the street name, which I spelled out for them. M-A-R-I-E. They had it so screwed up they couldn't have stopped if they wanted to. The box is too bulky to lug on the bus. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 28/04/2017 20:24

Today I've been eating clean and healthy for nearly a year. Now that I'm pregnant the only food that doesn't make me nauseas is McDonald's! Wtf nature?! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 7

By Lizzie - 28/04/2017 08:35 - United States - Alexandria

Today I went into the clinic at my school looking for some gauze and a decent sized bandaid because last night I accidentally gave myself a pretty big cut while shaving my legs. Well the lady in the clinic just told me, "I should talk to someone if I'm having issues." Not the first time either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 28/04/2017 13:45

Today, I learned that the prohect I spent the last six months working on was not only my boss's responsibility, but it was also his attempt to make it on to the corporate board. Oh, and he made on to the board for his "astounding and sophisticated organization and management skills." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 4

By didn'twanttogoanyway - 28/04/2017 10:58

Today for the first time in years I decided I would buy tickets and go to a concert because my favourite band has returned. Got up early and transferred money to my account ready for the sale and the money was lost during the transfer. Tickets came and went and I am ticketless and moneyless. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 2

By Samo - 28/04/2017 10:54

Had a boner in assembly today, had to get up for a prize. Everyone saw. Everyone.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 12

By Unhealthyorhealthymaybe - 28/04/2017 08:24

Today, I had an X-ray for a possible broken bone. The good news is that I don't have a break. The bad news is they may have found a sign of cancer. Or maybe not. My doctor really isn't sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 2

By trent - 28/04/2017 08:19

After sex with my girlfriend i accidentally said, "I love you like my mom" I have no idea why I said those words or what I was thinking but boy was it awkward

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 20

By Day screamer - 28/04/2017 16:14 - Australia - Carrara

Today,I lost my "best friend" of ten years because I gave her proof that her boyfriend was cheating on her with one of my other friends..this was not the first time ..actually many times have I caught him with the same friend over the course of five years. I got blocked because I'm the bad guy..FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 28/04/2017 08:00

my sister came over to our house to detox from heroin. my husband didn't want to deal with her so he went to a hotel, with his girlfriend.

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 12

By "iTried911" - 28/04/2017 07:43

My father called me fat on my birthday. He is fully aware that I'm in recovery from an eating disorder...I'm not even close to being overweight.

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 3

By loveless - 28/04/2017 07:38

Today, I met my ex wife at a bar to talk. Getting further into our conversation about current relationships, she admits she was never in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 5

By drako1026 - 28/04/2017 07:35

Today while making love to my wife, her father walked in and started talking about the Internet. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 4

By MomoSmiles - 28/04/2017 07:01

Today, I got into an argument with my dad on why I had to take my car on my birthday, he figured out that my boyfriend and I had sex in the back... he laughed, asked if we used protection and how it was.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 50

By riperino - 28/04/2017 06:57

Today I couldn't get a NASA internship despite prepping the last two years to get the internship and having a former astronaut write my letter of recommendation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 13

By Sami - 27/04/2017 18:04 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, the day before my birthday and after taking my boyfriend out to an expensive lunch, he dumped me as I pulled in to my drive way. Did I mention I live with his mom? FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 4

By Friendless - 27/04/2017 21:05 - United States

Today, my two best friends have been getting really close because of me. Now they both never talk to me, and I am yet again without a best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 4

By theonethatgotaway - 28/04/2017 03:02

Today, one of my lecturers whom I find attractive confessed that he thinks the same of me. We're both married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 29

By Ithurtssomewhat - 28/04/2017 00:51

Today, I finally qualified for the health insurance my work offers. I was also informed by veteran employees that even if I'm injured outside of work, I should hope no one finds out. I applied here because it was the only insurance-paying job I could get for a much needed hernia surgery. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 27/04/2017 14:33 - United States - Media

Today, I have made my company HR's shit-list. They gave my one of my two day overtime days to a temp with less senority all because my supervisor pissed them off. There goes my rent money. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 0

By Ash - 27/04/2017 20:28

Today, I went to a party. It was great, I got crossfaded as hell and generally had a fun time. Until I realised that a kind civilian had also slipped me some rohypnol for the hell of it. I spent the rest of the day vomiting profusely and blacking out. Thanks, jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 18

By SillyStupid - 27/04/2017 19:58

Today, like any other day, my dad won't let me go out. So I have to watch my friends having fun through the club's Facebook Live video. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 38

By tallesttree - 27/04/2017 18:37

today I knocked on the bathroom door and heard my mom tell me to come in. That would have been fine if she weren't going number 2....wearing a onesie...which was down at her feet. fml

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, Covid started when I was a freshmen in highschool. I'm now halfway through my Junior year and I still haven't experienced any normal high school events or traditions. I'm going to graduate without experiencing anything. Now we have a new variant… again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 194

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 113

You deserved it 1 791

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 758

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 875

You deserved it 61 790

Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 104

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 210

You deserved it 27 648