Nearly FMLs

By Cryer - 31/05/2017 14:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I cried more about the guy I had one great date with who didn't text me back, than I did about the breakup with my boyfriend of one year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 743

By Today on the Howdy Doody show: Dealing with loss - 30/05/2017 14:00

Today, it's been six months since my coworker's father passed away, and ever since then, for some reason, he has only been communicating to others using a marionette puppet. While I do still feel sorry for him, I'm beginning to be a bit annoyed and even more concerned for his mental well being. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 778

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 30/05/2017 00:00

Today, I found out it's easier to get hired as a teacher than as a part-time cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 630

You deserved it 312

By his pants would be on fire - 28/05/2017 18:00

Today, I was going into work early, only to find my car was gone. I checked to see if I parked elsewhere and was about to dial 911 when I saw my roommate pull my car back into its normal spot. He completely denied everything, even after I showed him a video I took of him getting out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 609

You deserved it 281

By fuck it all - 26/05/2017 09:17 - United States - Valparaiso

I'm a martial artist. I landed wrong doing a jump-sidekick, and sprained my ankle, and broke my finger, all while blood from my period started to drip down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 43

By Anonymous - 24/05/2017 14:00

Today, at 3:00 a.m. I couldn't sleep because of back pain. Don't you love it when you resort to lathering up in menthol pain-relieving creams on your neck and shoulders, only to roll to your side and get the residue on your pillow in your eyes? It's okay, I guess I didn't want to sleep tonight anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 245

You deserved it 556

By sleepy - 24/05/2017 09:21

Today I got on the same train I always do to go to work, settled my bicycle in the corner and the doors locked. Then the announcer says it's the fast train into London not the one going 2 stops down the line I was expecting it to be and my commute has just tripled in length. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 70

By Anonymous - 23/05/2017 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, a customer yelled at me when his 9 cookies came to $5.78. He insisted that they were "3 for $1 yesterday," and told me to "shut the fuck up" when I tried to explain otherwise. I worked yesterday, and every other day for the past 3 months. They've never been 3 for $1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 717

You deserved it 241

By "Lemou_fml" - 21/05/2017 22:58

Today, I realised many 6 year olds I know would be better housemates than the guy I share home with. I have to tell him what to do during the day, because he doesn't know what or how to clean. He's 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 40

By Kinj - 20/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that my brother enjoys eating puddings in pairs without separating the cups. He then shoves them under the couch, along with the spoons. He's 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 411

You deserved it 297

Wait… what?

By Nox - 20/05/2017 07:00 - United States - Conroe

Today, I got a message online from someone I had been talking to for a month or two telling me that they didn't trust me, because I responded too quickly and was too responsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 328

By hes about to be a dead one - 20/05/2017 00:00

Today, after about a month of trying to make peace with it, putting up with constant whining, and being aggressively barked at like a rabbit on acid every time I'd go in the living room, my sister STILL refuses to do anything about her small dogs behavior, because, "He's just a dog!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 022

You deserved it 422

By Julia_Blossom - 19/05/2017 03:44

Today, I thought I heard a large bird outside hit my window, and didn't think much of it. Later, I got a call from my neighbour. It wasn't anything close to a bird, it was in fact one of my shingles falling off my roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 23

By "chrddajr" - 18/05/2017 10:13

Today I found out my fiance is cheating on me. With my sister. Who is married, a junkie and pregnant. I found out by my other sister, whos house they had sex at. Two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 23

By Anonymous - 18/05/2017 01:06 - United States - Houston

Today, my long term boyfriend bought a "Show Me Your Tits" sticker to put on his motorcycle helmet, hoping random girls will flash him on the road. He truly doesn't understand why I'm upset, FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 51

By daniF041594 - 17/05/2017 22:08

Today I went to the dentist for the first time today in an year and a half after never having a cavity in my life. I found out I now have 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 114

By everybodystaycalm - 17/05/2017 21:11

Today, my husband freaked out over a bug. He lost it, literally and vocally, and had a meltdown over invincible infestations in the house for half an hour before he found his "unkillable" bug again. It turns out that my 35 year old husband does not know what a tick is. I killed it for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 26

By "Talented73" - 17/05/2017 18:55

Today, it is the first really hot day this year. It is also the day we all realized that the air conditioning system at work has shit the bed, having failed us when we needed it most. My ball sweat is running down my legs and dripping on my sneakers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 26

By Sam - 17/05/2017 17:42

Today, my sister announced she will be getting married in 2 days having never been engaged and just found out she's pregnant. I've been engaged a solid 4 years now and still no marriage plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 88

By Teeth - 17/05/2017 16:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I got to choose, again, which of the four empty toothpaste tubes in the bathroom to use, "just one more time". Yep, my wife is pretty thrifty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 407

By okThen - 17/05/2017 12:00

Today, while at work, I tried to go upstairs to get some water. The bartender politely refused to give me any, stating, "Sorry, the boss doesn't give out water anymore." After I asked why, she explained that it was too expensive to pay for the cups. I'd brought my own water bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 17/05/2017 10:20

Today, my boyfriend is going on a trip with the bike union he used to train for. It's also the day I found out that the physiotherapist joining them is his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 401

superapple tells us more.

superapple 23

Tuesday 16 May 2017 13:56

OP here. My boyfriend and I haven't been together for long and as others have pointed out, the problem was that he didn't tell me straight up and I had to find out myself, which just made it look really really bad. He didn't tell me cause he didn't want me to feel bad throughout the whole time he was gone (he admitted he would've felt the same if it were the other way around and probably not talk to me for a while) but he didn't think far enough to come to the conclusion that I'd find out at some point (and probably start wondering why he chose to take his ex on all those trips). Now, apart from all that, he told me he doesn't believe in friendships between men and women as one of them is always looking for more than just that... apparently he only has one girl friend where the exception proves the rule, but that friend isn't his ex he took with him on the trip, so that kinda made me feel uncomfortable with the whole situation too. The fact that she talks about her miserable sex life and asks for advice from him kinda had me on my toes as well.. I've been cheated on in the past and have a hard time trusting someone / maintaining a certain level of trust but we talked about it and he was really sorry and all is good :)

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 00:00

Today, at work, a lady couldn't spell the word 'LANE' and I swear to god it took me about two full minutes to get her to write it correctly. This was her own street address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 013

You deserved it 303