Nearly FMLs

By "LoveDogsHateDogSitting" - 22/08/2017 04:24

Today my Mom called asking if the dog had been acting like she had a stroke when I was dog sitting. She had been fine and we were about to go to the vet when my Mom called back. Apparently the dog had been choking on a nut my Mom fed her. Now I wonder if my mother was the one having a stroke...FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 6

By "lifeisoutrages" - 22/08/2017 04:08

I came home from a ten month deployment to find a six month pregnant wife. I didn't take leave anytime during it yet she still insists the child's mine.

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 4

By what just happened - 22/08/2017 03:32

Today, my daughter came home from school early upon questioning her,she told me that she got kicked out of class for smirking, me not believing her,emailed her teacher asking what happened.The teacher told me that she was "smirking condescendingly" and that I should raise my daughter better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 5

By I believed you ... - 21/08/2017 20:05 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a homeless man asked me for money for food. I usually decline in case of substance abuse, but I decided to believe him and gave him some. After, he went past me, then the grocery store, and into the liquor store. Through the window, I watched him buy a can of beer with my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 42

By "mala_19" - 21/08/2017 22:25

Today, being used to having my dog next to me, I started scratching my boyfriends head. He countered with licking my face and when i pushed him away he bit my ass. My dog and my boyfriend are basically the same person. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 24

By studentoflife - 21/08/2017 14:40 - United States - Canton

Today was supposed to be my first day of college. After brushing my teeth this morning I noticed that my sink wasn't draining and the next thing I know, water had overflowed and kept coming. It flooded my apartment. I missed my classes and now have to deal with the repercussion of this flooding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 6

By ILoveSpace - 21/08/2017 21:35

Today, it was the day of the solar eclipse. I've always wanted to see one with my own eyes ever since I learned about them. A thunderstorm rolled through 5 minutes after the very start of the eclipse, and stayed for about an hour and a half. I missed the solar eclipse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By Sweetadeline - 21/08/2017 13:02 - United States - Akron

Today I found out the reason my grandma is in the ICU is because she found my jail paperwork I had been hiding from her. She thought I was in the hospital that whole time. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 64

By Janel - 21/08/2017 09:38 - United States - Sacramento

Today, went to a wedding with a crush and was all ready to show out with how good I looked. Dressed to the nines, hair and makeup done, smelling great. We went to the wedding together and flirted, went to a mixer where I ran into some old coworkers. Walked away he asked me for my friends number FML.

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 4

By NoEclipse4U - 21/08/2017 15:45

Today, my wife started her period, and insisted that we miss the eclipse. We were near Nashville (path of totality) but now we're in Ohio. She's in such denial about it, but if she's miserable, she has to make me miserable too. She knows I've been looking forward to the eclipse for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 15

By two2blue - 21/08/2017 07:49 - United States - Tellico Plains

Today, I was sorting through old books of my dad's and found the "Pocket Python Guide." It took me a while to realize it was about the programming language, not about sex. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 53

By "ForeyDye" - 21/08/2017 22:46 - Australia - Sydney

Today I threw up and was told I still had to go to school. I got yelled at for the school calling my parents even though I was physically green and its against health code for me to be near other people.

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 8

By 0hnonotagain - 21/08/2017 05:40

Today, my 13 year old brother walked in on my boyfriend and I having sex. There was a long moment of awkward eye contact before he muttered "You guys are weird.." and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 21/08/2017 05:11

Today, I was kicked out of my favorite school program for "unfinished summer work." The kicker? My backpack was stolen and the teacher refused to email me the work. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 5

By bad hair day - 21/08/2017 03:24

Today, I got a haircut. I jokingly said I wanted a reverse mohawk and the barber took me literally. My senior year of college starts tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 21/08/2017 02:55

Today, the public bus did not show up to the bus stop. I arrived fifteen minutes early and stayed an hour late to make sure I did not miss it. When I gave up and called my Dad for a ride, he accused me of doing drugs and lying about being at work. Now I have to walk home to angry parents. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 21/08/2017 02:51

Today, my step mom accused me of being depressed because I sleep in until 10AM every day. She is forcing me to see a therapist with my own money. She and my dad seem to be completely ignoring the fact that I work the night shift. My therapist agrees they are the problem. He still takes my money.

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 7

By worst ever - 21/08/2017 02:06

I realized the Instagram comment I left on a friends wedding pictures got autocorrected from "You made an absolutely gorgeous bride!" to "garbage bride".

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 12

By tinitine - 21/08/2017 03:04 - China - Guangzhou

Today my adopted mother successfully persuading me to quit my shitty award winning agency job in Canada to come work in Asia on the family business. She told me to f*ck off after I finished redesigning & renovating her new office space and resort because I'm 'useless'. I'm a tier one designer.

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 9

By lonely af - 20/08/2017 16:53

Today, I hosted my birthday party. My sweet 16. Around 30 people said they were coming, and no one showed. Now no one's answering my texts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 6

By MadRat3 - 20/08/2017 12:29

Today on a party held by my boyfriends family I had some drinks to ease my anxiety. Apparently it was too much and on the way home I vomited all over his parents car. His parents and brother were in the car and his brother happens to be an intern at my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 49

By "ev_lyn_aw" - 20/08/2017 07:00

Today UPS dropped off a package while my in-laws were visiting unexpectedly. She badgered me in front of my significant other and her husband to open it. I told her not to worry about it and that it was nothing to special. She opened it excitedly when I was in the bathroom. It was a dildo.

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 05:13

Today, my new ice cream maker arrived. I made some strawberry ice cream, but then realised i had to go to work so I set my bowl down on the counter. When I came home, not only had my dog eaten my ice cream and the bowl it was in, but also the ice cream maker's cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 54

By "limegreenstar10" - 20/08/2017 05:01

Today, I was at a park on a bench with another man, and while I was hugging him, my homophobic boss came up and yelled at me because I 'lied to him about being gay', and 'gays didn't belong in the workplace'. I'm not gay. That man was my brother, who just lost his wife in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 9

By Dead inside - 20/08/2017 04:44

Today, I arrived at work and was walking through the loby with my backpack. I stopped to talk to a friend and they alerted me to a trail of pads and tampons I had left through the room which had fallen out from my bag that I forgot to zip up properly.. two seconds later the CEO walks in.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 03:03

Today I found out that my daughter is actually my best friends daughter.

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 5

By Saintsman12 - 19/08/2017 23:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I learnt that my girlfriend of 6 months is actually homosexual and has only been dating me because she 'always thought she would have a boyfriend'. She then got mad when i broke up with her, calling me an intolerant asshole.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 11

By Cassie - 19/08/2017 23:36

Today, after two months of waiting for my patio to be completed and paying $3,200, it pours and my finish basement floods. This is after I told the contractor that it wasn't draining properly and he waved me off. And, Guess who doesn't have flood insurance as I was told I didn't need it. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 17

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 728

You deserved it 9 609

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 830

You deserved it 18 043

Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 132

You deserved it 62 340

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 793

You deserved it 186

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 528

You deserved it 3 815

Today, I was at work and a guy walked up holding his phone with the camera facing me. He then looks up at me and says, "I'm not taking a picture of you. I'm just trying to catch a Pokemon." And here I was thinking that I looked nice today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 2 481