Nearly FMLs

House

By Katver - 24/02/2018 15:47

Today, I was giving potential buyers a tour around my house when they asked whether I was selling my parent's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

By Vexing Violet - 24/02/2018 02:32

Today, I was on a really fun first date. We were having a ton of laughs. We took a tour of his worst and a drive in his Mustang. We got back to the bar and he excused himself to use the bathroom. I went to check on him a few minutes later - GONE. Left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 7

By Vexing Violet - 24/02/2018 02:28

Today, work had a "guess the number of Skittles in a jar" contest. I won two $25 gift cards! One to Applebee's and one to AMC Movie Theaters. I am a vegan, with social anxiety. There are no vegan options at Applebee's and the only AMC theater is in a major theme park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 87

By Vexing Violet - 24/02/2018 02:23

Today, I was seriously dating this guy. He told me he believed the Earth is flat and gravity is a myth. I busted out laughing SO hard, I saw his face and I said "Oh. You're SERIOUS?" before I could stop myself. I had to let him go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 12

By ban_ANA_bat - 24/02/2018 00:31

Today, a hot guy came up to me at school and asked for my phone number. Flustered and flattered, but what came out of my mouth was, "I don't have a phone." I was just texting on it and had it in my hand. He called me a bitch and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 77

By supersport - 23/02/2018 19:24

Today, I made a tinder account for my motorcycle, and it's more popular than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 84

By Joe - 23/02/2018 11:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife told me that nothing I've done in our marriage of 5 years with 2 kids means anything, because I've lost my will to have sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 27

By Sux - 23/02/2018 16:11 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, the boyfriend that only told me three days ago that he was getting married to someone else texted to tell me today is the day 5min before the service. But also that he doesn't want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 8

By rubberduck_of_doom - 23/02/2018 17:00

Today, after finally reaching my goal weight, I went out to dinner with my family to celebrate. For some reason I felt super bad after dinner and had to throw up. Now everybody believes I'm bulimic and they are already looking for help. They won't believe me telling them otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 4

By why me? - 22/02/2018 22:51 - Canada - Quesnel

Today I decided to stop sulking over my break up with my ex. Today is also the day I found out I’m pregnant with his baby... fml

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 24

Seriously..can’t escape him.

By Aeon - 23/02/2018 03:32

Today, my friends were hyping me up about an overnight birthday party, which sounded like it could be the best time of my life! However, turns out they also invited my stalker, and won’t take him off the guest list. They know he’s my stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 22/02/2018 14:59

Today, I was crazy tired, but my girlfriend wanted me to wait till she got done with homework so that we could talk. I waited and waited for 3-4 hours, only to find out she fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 22/02/2018 13:55

Today, after being out of residential treatment for almost two months now, I found out that my now ex-boyfriend has been cheating on me since the week I was admitted back in December 2017. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 5

By arturo - 22/02/2018 03:56 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, while watching porn, I realized I knew about 99% of all pornstars by name.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 76

By screwed_over_by_life - 22/02/2018 12:52

Today, my boss fired me after I informed her of a surgery I have in a month. She said the recovery time would be too long and would interfere with my job. I work 4 days a week and I'm morning shift, recovery time is 9 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 2

By lukey101 - 22/02/2018 21:18 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, at the age of 29, I managed to break one of my teeth while eating a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 5

By exasperated roommate - 22/02/2018 01:43 - United States - Reston

Today, My roommate hired a drug addict to clean our apartment. Apparently the apartment is only the kitchen and the bathroom. And cleaning involves drinking my beer and cooking herself dinner. Oh, and she's been cleaning for 4 hours and still hasn't finished.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

By "akward conversations" - 22/02/2018 04:54

Today, my mother barged into my room and called me a demon, along with multiple other things. All because I forgot to take my lexapro. She then snatched my dog that was happily laying on my chest and walked out with him while muttering about how he didn't want to be with a demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 21/02/2018 21:01 - United States - Orlando

Today, I went to the gynecologist. While on the table with my legs up, mind you a nurse and resident were present, my doctor decided “sushi” would be the appropriate conversation topic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1

By rubberduck_of_doom - 21/02/2018 23:23

Today, I moved into my new flat. After about one hour with my new neighbour from downstairs came to knock on the door and ask me to 'not walk so loudly'. I suppose I'll have to learn how to float. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 21/02/2018 20:21

Today I caught my elderly neighbor in my home hiding her cigarettes again. She has dementia and her children take care of her and won't let her. I've tried to talk to them about this issue and they pretend like it's no big deal. Am I going to have to be the person who calls the cops? FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 7

By Katerina - 21/02/2018 19:33

Today, I realized that one can’t merely “let one slip” when you’re ill with the runs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 47

By Sux - 21/02/2018 18:03

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years came home with flowers all romantic then started discussing marriage. Started getting excited till he said it was to another person not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 6

By Jenna - 21/02/2018 13:28

Today, I was planning a date with a guy I recently started speaking to. He mentioned bowling so I said ok, I hope you're up for an arse kicking... I thought I said that anyway. It autocorrected to arse licking. Great start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 22

By Jenna - 21/02/2018 12:28 - United Kingdom

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 18

By Just want to play Halo - 21/02/2018 13:19

Today, I tried buying a discounted game in an electronic store, but not only did the cashier say it wasn't on sale, they said it's not even out yet. I double checked the release date and the game was released years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 4

By imf*cked - 21/02/2018 07:25

Today I learned just how many small deaths it takes to finally kill my 30 year marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 9

By Cuppycake76 - 21/02/2018 06:59

Today, it was my first Mother's Day, and my son gave me a gift. Too bad it was being pooped, peed, and thrown up on all at the same time. Yay motherhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 28

By chef tj - 21/02/2018 05:28

Well, today I found out I was going to be a father of two children. I thought I would be excited. Why am I not excited you might ask? The mothers of my children are sisters Fml

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 276

By perrin1701 - 20/02/2018 21:12 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today I slid my car into a ditch and had to walk home in the sleet and freezing rain. I got home and found my gf of two years took all her stuff and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 4

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had a vulnerable day, which led me to being scammed 2400 dollars, worried about something that a simple Google search and five seconds of reading would've rectified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 1 184

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 717

You deserved it 33 833

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 6 271

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 657

You deserved it 3 550

Today, my friend bought a new car. He left his old car at the dealership and asked me if I could go back with him, and then I'd follow him back to his house in his old car. That was fine, except he forgot to mention the car had no brakes. I hit his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 993

You deserved it 1 278

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 995

You deserved it 179 206