Nearly FMLs

By "Kaylin Andrews" - 12/03/2018 00:14

Today, I found out my coworker has been telling everyone I'm making a porn movie, and that's why everyone has told me I'm disgusting. I'm only 20. I don't know any guys. The coworker hates me and wants me fired by any means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 3

By Innocent shopper - 11/03/2018 20:59

Today, after shopping at Target, I came back to find a car parked badly next to me. As I was popping my trunk, the girl in the passenger seat of said car opened her door and promptly barfed beer right next to my driver's side, about three times. I had to crawl into my car from the passenger side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 3

By "Alanni Anway" - 11/03/2018 20:28

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after 2 years. Only 11 more months until our lease is up on the house we just rented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 4

By LotsOfPatience - 10/03/2018 19:09 - United States - Redding

Today I matched on a dating app with what I thought was a nice, caring, funny, educated man. We planned to meet at a local restaurant. Turns out he was my ex-husband who thought he could really find someone like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 9

By Jayanka - 10/03/2018 22:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my husband he was acting like his family. He swore at me and stormed off. Which is how his family act. Now he's in bed asleep and I'm sleeping on the sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 17

By R2A8 - 11/03/2018 01:17 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, my weight loss progress became visible... through my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 10

By anonym - 10/03/2018 21:35 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was studying for an important test about blood clotting. Suddenly I got a nosebleed. On the one hand, I could test out what I had just learnt. On the other hand, my book is full of blood now. You can’t read a word anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

By Tiredasamother - 09/03/2018 23:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, my asthmatic son, who is prone to croup, is wheezing and barking in his sleep, despite medication, because other parents ignore policy and send their contagious kids to school with fevers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

By Lonelyduda - 09/03/2018 19:22 - Mexico - Puebla

Today, I saw a homeless man searching the trash for food. I thought I would do a good action and buy him a meal. As I approached him to give it to him, he slapped the dish and covered my hand and arm with hot food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 12

By loser - 09/03/2018 19:42 - United States - Valrico

Today, I left work ready to drive the five hours to see my family following an emergency, only to find that my car had been repossessed while I was working my minimum wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 13

By TeenMom - 10/03/2018 01:27

Today my ex boyfriend that broke up with me yesterday had the audacity to dm me on Instagram & tell me “hey sorry” & that “he wants me back” after I found him in bed.... with my mother FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 7

By SnowIntoSteam - 09/03/2018 20:00 - Canada - Berwick

Today, I refused an extra shift at work to go with my best friend of 10 years to the movies before he moved away. While on the bus there, he texted me saying he crashed his car, and wasn't going. Without him I have no way back home, and no shelter. There's a raging blizzard outside right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 7

By GAgirl45678 - 09/03/2018 16:18 - United States

Today, my landlord appeared at my apartment stating the check for my rent had bounced. Apparently some asshole got a hold of my account information and drained my bank account buying stuff online. My bank said this could take up to 2 weeks to fix. I have to pay the full rent in 7 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

By Ryan - 09/03/2018 19:06

Today, I woke up after getting home from work at 3am to find a soaking wet carpet from a broken pipe in my neighbor's apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 2

By nogoodluck - 09/03/2018 11:50 - Canada - London

Today, I went over to the guy I am seeing’s house to hang out. We finished our business, and upon glancing over, I see a fake eyelash stuck to the pillow. It’s not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 19

By Doofenschmertz - 09/03/2018 12:18 - South Africa

Today, I was told by my boss that I don't work. This after spending the last 3 months fixing the mistakes of coworkers who then told the boss I don't perform well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 4

By MisUnFortunate - 09/03/2018 04:54

Today, I found out my cousin is a somewhat famous porn star/ nude model. Guess how I found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 20

By Ku6 - 08/03/2018 18:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I learned that my evening bedtime tea has caffeine in it. I've been drinking it for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 85

By Not mine - 08/03/2018 14:51

Today, my boyfriend and I were at the shops with his baby son. People kept giving me dirty looks obviously thinking I was a teenage mother. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 18

By halfblack - 08/03/2018 13:40

Today, my son was born. We’re white. He’s black. After I stormed out of the hospital in a rage, I talked to my mother who admitted to me that she cheated on my father with a black man. Now I’m down a wife and my father isn’t my real father. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 18

By BuzzingGoodTime - 08/03/2018 06:14

Today, my future in-laws are visiting. While sitting on the back porch, future FIL comes out looking embarrassed and said I might want to clean up the living room.. my sweet adorable puppy had decided that my “play box” full of sex toys was better suited strewn around the living room. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 29

By Anonymous - 08/03/2018 04:38

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift for my birthday. Surprise, it's herpes! FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 8

By ICantImSick - 08/03/2018 02:35

Today, I woke up to a call and a bunch of missed text messages. Apparently, I had misread my work schedule and was suppose to be at work this morning. I was still in bed super hungover and told them I wasn't "feeling well". My boss wants to talk in person. I'm pretty sure I'm getting fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 53

By RunningWithScissors - 07/03/2018 11:03 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I tried to pay for my shopping at Walmart using two unopened prepaid Mastercards. I asked the cute cashier if he had scissors, and he gave me a pair from behind his printer. When he asked how I knew he had them, I thoughtlessly remarked, "Well, you look like a boy who's well-equipped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 40

By gotanuplannedvaca - 07/03/2018 06:27

Today, I got fired after putting in 70+ hours last week finishing a last minute project for my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 4

By "Michael Royal Pedro" - 07/03/2018 05:28

Today, I found out that when my wife says, "I'm going to my cousin's" she means, "I'm fucking someone else". FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 5

By marecu - 07/03/2018 04:23

Today, I received my new computer that I paid nearly $1,800 for. Unfortunately, it’s not the right computer. They gave me someone else’s computer, which happened to be much worse than mine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 3

By Can'twaitforthisleasetoend - 06/03/2018 14:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, rather than going home to deal with my manipulative, vengeful roommate, I slept on the floor of the university greenhouse for the third time in ten days. Only six more months until the lease is up. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 9

By cyzn - 06/03/2018 01:02

Today, I went on a first date and decided to wear my new jeans. The guy made a comment on how thick my thighs must be. I realized after the date was over the size sticker was still on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 40

By Sad - 05/03/2018 16:28 - United States - Waltham

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how special it was that I lost my virginity to him after months of dating and "taking it slow." For some reason, he was surprised to hear that I felt this way. To make a long story short, I now know he wants an open relationship.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 16

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 029

Today, I managed to pull a muscle at work. In my ass. While standing still. I still don't know how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 135

You deserved it 319

Today, I found out that the sleeping mask I'd been using for months was actually part of a BDSM kit. I found the rest of it in my dad's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 1 265

Today, for lunch I bought a burger, fries and milkshake. As I went to sit down the milkshake spilled all over the table, in my failed attempt to catch it I also managed to spill my fries all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 941

You deserved it 404

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 164

You deserved it 1 177

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 221

You deserved it 2 087