Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 06/04/2018 14:45

Today, my brother and I played a game of Mortal Kombat X together after 3 months of not seeing each other. When I won the first round, he decided that a reasonable reaction would be to pick up and throw my new TV down the stairs in a rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 06/04/2018 06:50

Today, I wore a dress to help feel pretty while on my period and feeling insecure. I sneezed so hard my tampon shot out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 05/04/2018 23:47 - United States - Lake Villa

Today, while waiting for my connecting flight, I was stuck in the bathroom with horrible cramps. I thought I needed to go to the hospital. I missed my flight, but I didn’t miss my period. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 06/04/2018 06:41

Today, I had a dream a used condom was stuck to my shirt during class. Turns out it wasn’t a dream. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 26

By ding-dong-cutter - 06/04/2018 00:21

Today, whilst I was still in bed, someone rang the doorbell. I had no clothes on so I rushed around my room, and the hallway to get dressed, cutting my shoulder against the edge of a shelf in the process. After swearing about the pain, I opened the door, and no one was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 22

By "Sarah Yake" - 05/04/2018 21:48

Today, after rubbing my back down with Bengay and thoroughly washing my hands, I decided to try to rub one out to distract me from my back pain. It worked, alright. Now I am preoccupied with the cold/burning/tingling pain in my dick. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 77

By "Cherynn Halgryn" - 05/04/2018 20:20

Today my mother disowned me. Not for cause a major problem or cause yet another riot in the family, but because of the fact that I got a job that I wanted. She wanted me to stay with her. Now she refuses to speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 6

By "BadLuckBeauty92" - 05/04/2018 18:50

Today, I blasted multiple loud farts outside thinking no one would hear or smell them as it was pretty windy. A girl from my class walked by me mid-fart and looked me straight in the eyes. She told the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 54

By Seymour - 05/04/2018 17:47

Today, I reread the auto-reply appointment confirmation email from my new therapist three times because it included the line "I look forward to meeting you" and I wanted to make myself feel like someone was excited to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 11

By Anna - 05/04/2018 14:10

Today, I went and visited my family. I was once told by them that I wasn't smart enough to graduate high school. Since then I got a degree in teaching, have five years industry experience and just got into a Masters degree in a non-related field. All they could ask me was when I was having kids.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 6

By Welp This Sucks - 05/04/2018 09:43

Today, my bf and I were having sex, and as he was coming he slipped out. He went right into my asshole, first time I ever tried anal and it was accidental. The worse pain of my life and it still hurts, I can’t even sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 15

By Rodrick - 05/04/2018 07:36

Today, after being kicked out of my parents house because they don’t approve of my girlfriend, I moved in with her. Within one week I learned she cheated on me with 2 different people multiple times. I also lost my job and am now stuck living with this bitch until I can get my life together.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 57

By Anonymous - 05/04/2018 01:23

Today, I tried making a homemade fleshlight with cornstarch. Today, I also found out I am allergic to corn starch. On the plus side, I am the biggest I've ever been. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 75

By DeniedByDocks - 04/04/2018 11:13 - United States - Auburn

Today, I was on a double date with my best friend and these two girls. After dinner, we went back to their place. My date asked me if I wanted to go outside with her to the dock. Once sitting outside, I tried to kiss her, but she pulled away and said, "Sorry, I am actually just the wing girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 14

By Damn robe - 04/04/2018 12:55 - Canada - Ajax

Today, the doorbell rang when I got out of the shower. Since it’s my birthday and I was expecting family, I answered it in a robe. When I opened the door, my crush was there with a card. We chatted for a bit until he asked if I was happy to see him. I then saw my boner poking through my robe. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 26

By onymus - 04/04/2018 19:00

Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me because she's feeling "emotionally unstable". It could be that, but maybe it has more to do with the fact her ex-boyfriend contacted her a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 068

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 04/04/2018 15:54

Today, I saw a guy smiling and randomly waving at me on the highway. I smiled back, waved at him, and then realized he was masturbating with the other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 8

By 2kidsin - 04/04/2018 02:16

Today, I found pictures of my cousin in my husband's "jack-off" file on his phone. I've seen my sister and her best friend in there too. This time I'm done.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 03/04/2018 15:22

Today, I tried to cuddle with my boyfriend. He pushed me out of the way and cuddled the dog instead. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 03/04/2018 15:13

Today, I came to the realization that I have seen my boyfriend's roommate shirtless more times than I have seen my own boyfriend shirtless. They've lived together for two months. We've been dating two years. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 8

By Sad Girl - 03/04/2018 06:26

Today, was the first day in a week where I had a spare moment to myself. Laid back in bed, put on some porn, got my vibrator going. All was great. Then my mom walked into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 26

By Anonymous - 03/04/2018 01:33

Today, I had a long conversation with my therapist about my anxiety and constant fear of rejection. I then went home to darling husband and got to use my new coping techniques as my darling rejected my advances for the third month straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 03/04/2018 06:09 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of 10 years, who broke up with me because he "didn't want to get married or have kids" within 18 months after we separated, had a child and married a woman with the same name as me. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 8

By Gross - 02/04/2018 18:08 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, I saw a woman walk out of the grocery store restroom without washing her hands. Two minutes later, I saw her picking up and putting down apples in the produce aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 8

By Firevajay - 02/04/2018 20:43

Today, the antibiotics for my urinary tract infection gave me a vaginal yeast infection. I also started my period today. I feel like I'm on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 5

By "Timothy Phillips" - 02/04/2018 12:35 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I had company over and I sat my phone on my couch when I got up to use the restroom. I come back and everyone is laughing because my dog unlocked my phone and my nude was the last thing pulled up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 45

By shart - 02/04/2018 12:48 - United States - Chicopee

Today, my future FIL asked why I had so little food on my plate. I jokingly told him I was on a diet trying to get skinny again. He scoffed at me and said, “Yeah. That’ll never happen.” Not only did it ruin Easter, but also my engagement. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 13

By itchymomma - 02/04/2018 09:29 - United States - Springfield

Today, I have seasonal allergies, a head cold, PMS, and am on steroids for the worst case of poison ivy I've ever had in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

By EKYchba - 02/04/2018 11:17

Today, I talked my girlfriend of 1 year into kissing her best friend over FaceTime while they were drunk. I keep trying to talk to her, but she tells me she likes girl and isn't sure about our relationship. Damn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 181

By Stuck at home - 02/04/2018 10:05

Today, after telling my mom I had a really high chance of landing my dream internship at a national lab, she decided to scream, cry, and throw the mail at my dad's face while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 7

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I watched the love of my life look me straight in the eye and lie to me with well-practised ease about where she spent last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 518

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark, only to discover it was poop. After further investigation, I found out my younger sister had been wearing them and "experimenting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 471

You deserved it 4 560

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 69 966

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 134

You deserved it 1 775

Today, I went to go surprise my long distance boyfriend at college 7 hours away. As I opened his apartment door, I saw him on the couch fucking his “study buddy”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 000

You deserved it 601

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 848

You deserved it 5 404