Nearly FMLs

By disgusted girl - 08/05/2018 20:31 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I went to use the restroom on campus and was so happy to find out that there wasn't anyone else in there. Soon after, someone else stepped into a stall and started farting and moaning very loudly, then I heard her say "oh yeah, I'm definitely going to take a laxative when I get home". FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 5

By Just a guy who likes science - 09/05/2018 02:22

Today, at lunch, I decided to watch some videos about electricity and came across a video about overcharging batteries (they inflate and emit hot steam). The lunch lady saw me watching the video and pulled me aside, saying it looked like I was looking up how to make a bomb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 8

By Notmyfault - 08/05/2018 23:50

Today, I came on holiday to Portugal. I’ve been really looking forward to this. Our friend got ill and misses the flight. The taxi driver drops us off somewhere else than our hotel. And I get food poisoning so I have to stay in bed for the whole duration of our stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 6

By nails mean stitches? - 08/05/2018 02:32

Today, I had to go to the emergency room because I had a big cut over my eyebrow which had been badly bleeding for a couple hours. When they asked what happened, I had to explain I accidentally punched myself in the face getting dressed... strong finger nails and no coordination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 08/05/2018 05:55 - Australia

Today, I broke my ankle and went to the hospital. My gf went in to get me a wheel chair, but their last wheel chair was being used for another girl who thought she broke her leg. My gf came out and helped me hop into the ER. Not even 5 mins later the same girl was up and walking to the vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 2

By Not into sis - 07/05/2018 17:57

Today, I finally had the courage to talk to my distant crush. I learned we have a lot in common and we really connected. I also learned she has the same name as my younger sister. Now I can't stop thinking about my sister whenever I see my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 10

By PregnantPee - 07/05/2018 11:12

Today, I woke up thinking my water broke in my sleep. I soon saw a yellow spot on my mattress, and realised I peed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 11

By bound.to.fail - 06/05/2018 22:03 - United States - East Chicago

Today, my bio teacher added 8 chapters of material to the final. We have to do homework on it too. He hasn’t covered it in class and I’m taking the final in two days because I have to be admitted to the hospital next week. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 3

By fml949494 - 06/05/2018 22:41

Today, I had to bury my grandfather, my wife decided to leave me, and I got a traffic ticket for my third brake light. Did I mention it's my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 8

By Tinja Westerlund - 06/05/2018 20:34

Today, when the bus had arrived, I had to wake the 3 year old up so we could get off. He started screaming that he wants his mommy, and that I am not his mommy. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 06/05/2018 03:46

Today, my family all had to get drunk so we could kind of have a game night. We played two rounds of UNO, then they played drinking games. Now I have to take care of four drunk adults. Guess who Isn’t 21 yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 7

By Justatadclumsy - 06/05/2018 02:24

Today, I had to go to the ER because I lost to a door and tore my cartilage in my wrist. The nurses thought it was hilarious. My family made it worse when they found out I have a kids cast because the adult one was too big. I never hear the end of either of these. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 9

By guess i’m single - 06/05/2018 02:07

Today, I texted my girlfriend “It’s over,” referring to the movie I had just watched. Realizing my mistake, I texted again clarifying I wasn’t breaking up with her. She responded with “Honestly, I would laugh if you broke up with me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 10

By TheNicce01 - 06/05/2018 01:27

Today, I introduced my crush, who had no idea I liked her, to my best friend because she was lonely. Everything goes on normally and I finally get the guts to ask her out, and just before I did she told me that she and my best friend started dating. The worst part, my best friend knew I had a crush on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 28

By Squid - 05/05/2018 12:24

Today, after cleaning all day, my Dad finally got home from his trip only to criticise what I hadn’t cleaned. It was the tiniest spot in the bathroom. He didn’t even say hello to me, he just complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 3

By Ron - 05/05/2018 04:01 - United States - Boise

Today, I learned I'm not graduating because my doctor failed to write the medical note he said he would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 10

By ch,nlv - 05/05/2018 10:48

Today, after years of trying to get pregnant, I finally am. My husband has now decided he doesn't want kids and the only reason he said yes in the first place was because he thought I would never get pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 5

By Mojo19 - 05/05/2018 07:20

Today, I was camping in the wilderness with what I thought was "the love of my life". However, after getting us lost, then being rejected of marriage that bitch took off running once she saw a bear coming up behind me. I almost died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 17

By Steve o - 05/05/2018 07:13

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 2 years has been sexting the same girl she cheated on with me from almost a year ago. She promised she wouldn't betray me again. I'm a fool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 42

By Elijah Morford - 05/05/2018 04:54

Today, I got demoted from boyfriend to friend by my girlfriend of almost 3 years. She doesn’t want to break it off with me, but she doesn’t want me to leave her life. We just moved one of her friends in our apartment. He's a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 10

By Sirflowers - 05/05/2018 03:26

Today, my hamster died the night before bring your pet to school day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 10

By moodie - 04/05/2018 20:05 - United States - Nashville

Today, while checking and cleaning out my email inbox I found an email, over a year old, offering me my dream job at a dream location in Florida. If I saw that email, in time, my life would not have been the mess it is today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 67

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 20:28

Today, I walked into the house after a week long vacation and was greeted by a rancid smell. After searching every room, I discovered that my roommate had been sticking her used bloody pads on the sides of the garbage can in her bathroom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

By yaycollege - 04/05/2018 07:28

Today, I finally had the motivation to finish a major paper that's due tomorrow morning. I made sure to save often, and after an exhausting half day of writing, I proceed to save my final draft twice. Except the second time I accidentally overwrote my 1800 word essay with a shorter one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 30

By LeggyBoi - 03/05/2018 18:47 - United States - Rolling Meadows

Today, a house centipede ran across the living room floor. I asked my boyfriend to kill it, but he refused. I told him I didn't want it finding its way into our bedroom, which he told me not to worry about. After a while, I go upstairs, and the little fucker darts across our bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 01:27

Today, I cried in the middle of class. It was quiet and nobody, not even the teacher, bothered to ask what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 22

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 00:36

Today, after 6 years and 2 kids together my husband still thinks I'll cheat on him because his mom cheated on his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 4

By Tineri - 03/05/2018 21:18

Today, my friend and her boyfriend are going out again after six months of being together. She told me she's written a nice poem detailing how they got together. They got together after he had sex with me and then didn't really bother to keep talking. She didn't mention that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 10

By ducky - 03/05/2018 11:12 - United States - Fraser

Today, while walking home in the rain, I slipped and fell on a used condom. There were cars around. They all seen and several beeped while laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 37 033

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 201

You deserved it 4 374

Today, I was diagnosed with migraines. Any loud sounds or bright lights make it worse. I'm the drummer for a heavy metal band, so I now have to choose between really bad migraines or a career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 177

You deserved it 4 667

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 294

You deserved it 2 464

Today, I learned what a nail gun shooting my leg feels like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 11 977

Today, at the age of 24, the only way I can remember anything at all is if I repeat it over and over again like a mantra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 103