Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 19/04/2018 01:51

Today I went for an endoscopy and had to pay $800 out of pocket. I then went under anesthesia and woke up in pain only to find out they couldn’t do the procedure because of my throat anatomy. They won’t refund me my money and I have still had no answers after months of horrible stomach pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 2

By hopeless - 18/04/2018 23:31

Today, I found out I am pregnant after trying for a year. My husband decided today would be a good time to tell me he has decided he doesn’t want us to have children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 3

By Bob - 18/04/2018 21:44

Today, after years of profusely brushing my teeth and multiple dentist visits, it turns out my stepmother was lying about me having bad breath. She hates me that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 7

By xercister - 18/04/2018 21:41

Today, I was laid off from my job as the company that "we bought" already had developed. This came as a complete shock as they announced the week before that they love the software I'm working on and that I'm safe. They didn't even ask where the software was stored when they let me go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 4

By RantingsOfMine - 18/04/2018 21:20

Today, I found out that our landlord has decided to sell all of the houses that they rent out. We just renewed our lease with them 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 3

By Frustrated - 18/04/2018 20:58

Today, a friend's girlfriend tried to set me up with a friend of hers. We hit it off. I also found out via aforementioned girlfriend, that if she wasn't coming out of a long-term relationship she would have asked me out. As it stands, she's busy in the dick-hopping phase and I get to hear about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 4

By Depressed Airport - 18/04/2018 14:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my girlfriend who went to Cuba for a week. She planned our own trip sometime in the future and a life together. I arrived excited to receive a message from her stating we needed to talk. She cheated on me in Cuba and now I'm standing here heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 5

By FiredForSure - 18/04/2018 20:45

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot to my boss instead of my friend of a news article talking about a "sex party" amongst snakes in Florida. He is out of the office and now he won't answer my calls. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 21

By unloved - 18/04/2018 18:56

Today, my mother admitted that this day, a year ago, was the moment she stopped loving me. What happened a year ago? I forgot to do the dishes. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

By "Carl'sRightEye" - 18/04/2018 18:31

Today, my boss gushed to me how glad he was that I decided to join, he knows that I'll do great things and how I got a 1.6% pay raise. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I was thinking of quitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 12

By Delphi - 18/04/2018 17:57

Today, I had one of the worst anxiety attacks I've had in a long time after being pushed and screamed at repeatedly while playing Jeopardy! in class. The topic? "Staying Mentally Healthy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 18/04/2018 17:42

Today, my group and I got our grades for a really big project. I got a half letter grade less than my group members because my group members said that I didn't put in as much effort into the project compared to them. In reality, they ignored me and gave me the hardest section to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 8

By WHS_Kitty - 18/04/2018 16:20

Today, I was in a restroom of my doctors' offices, and I forgot to pick up my engagement ring after I washed my hands. Needless to say, the ring was gone a few minutes later when I reported it to hospital security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 31

By Anonymous - 18/04/2018 16:16

Today, my fiance woke me up at 5am to take him to work, because once again he managed to lock his keys in his running car. I've been having trouble sleeping and had just fallen asleep an hour before and will now be up for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 7

By NotGoodEnough - 18/04/2018 11:30

Today, my wife said to me those 3 little words I was hoping she would say since she left me. 'I love you'. Unfortunately, that was followed by 'as friends'. Also she is getting engaged to a man who seems to be a better version of me in every way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 9

By Alexaplayphantom - 18/04/2018 08:11

Today, the kindergarten teacher asked my five-year-old why he wasn't singing the Happy Song with the other students. His response? "I don't like the Happy Song. I like the Phantom of the Opera." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 18

By aly413 - 18/04/2018 08:07

Today, I had to separate two towels of the same color because one was the cum rag for my boyfriend and me while the other was my towel for showering. I showered and dried my face with my towel only to realize it was hard and stiff. My face is itching for an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 18/04/2018 07:52

Today, I decided to sext my girlfriend while I was at work. She seemed very disinterested, and also told me she felt like I was sending her mixed signals. I was very confused as to what she meant, and then I realized I was texting my coworker. Sorry, Grant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 60

By WTF - 18/04/2018 00:07 - United States - Boonville

Today, my daughter's half sister and my stepdaughter, who I took ten years ago to save from a bad life, decided to have sex with my daughter's son's father. In my daughter's bed. While my daughter was at work, where she just got her half sister a job. While I was babysitting their child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 8

By Worker bee - 17/04/2018 22:37

Today, like every day for the last 10 days, I vomited before, during, and after work. I can't have another sick day because I only started 10 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

By PreggoPhat - 17/04/2018 22:37

Today, while leaving after a short visit with my mother, my mother embraced me tightly and whispered in my ear,”I love my little fatty”. I’m seven months pregnant and went from 90lbs to 128lbs. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 10

By Bumblebee - 17/04/2018 16:05 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out my (now ex) has a girlfriend. He posted on his Snapchat story "Happy 19 months babe" and when I confronted him about it, he blocked me on all social media. So I did what any girl would do, and messaged his girlfriend only to find out he has 2 social media each and THEY HAVE A BABY. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 10

By 1coolgal - 17/04/2018 13:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, me and my boyfriend were getting heated and at one point he asked me to lick his balls, so I get on my knees to look up and see a streak of shit right on the ball, he happens to want me to put in my mouth and he got mad because I suddenly said I wasn’t horny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 6

By The Cat Who Walks By Himself - 17/04/2018 05:47

Today, after being cooped up alone sick for a week, I finally felt well enough to go to a movie so I could be around people again. I was the only one in the theater. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 9

By theloneclefairy - 17/04/2018 01:46

Today, my boyfriend would not stop spouting racism about Native Americans. He seems to be forgetting that I am a quarter Apache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 16

By GotSkunked - 16/04/2018 16:17 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my dad thought it would be a good idea to hose down a skunk. Now the house smells like burnt rubber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 4

By LazyButt - 16/04/2018 20:15 - Finland

Today, my boss told me that I'm the laziest worker he's ever seen. Not only have I done my own and colleagues' work, I also did one other colleagues work, because he is apparently too special to be woken up at 5am to fulfill his duties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 7

By ScrewURain - 16/04/2018 14:33

Today, it was a rainy day. I forgot to zip my backpack and watched all of the contents of my backpack - laptop included - fall out and get marinated in a puddle. I forgot to backup my literature review. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 64

By someonehavingabadday - 16/04/2018 08:33

Today, I needed to use the bathroom so we stopped at a pie shop. I went up to someone I thought was a worker and asked where the bathroom was. It would be bad if I told you that that person didn't work there, but this person was also deaf. Instead of walking away, I repeated my question, louder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 23

By Missingspinsterlife - 16/04/2018 08:07

Today, I had to remind my husband to brush his teeth and trim his nails. This happens a lot. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 14

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The Top

Today, I found out the hard way that you shouldn't try to open a can of paint with a screwdriver. The lid flew off, and my kitchen floor now looks like an abstract art painting, which I could probably call, "Various blue splodges on wood canvas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 597

Today, I was working on entering a lot of information in the system. When I'd finished, I closed the screen to move on to the next steps, my boss came by to see how I was doing, just in time to see me looking at a now-blank screen. I'm convinced that my boss thinks I closed a screen that wasn't work related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 130

Today, I asked my mother to take a picture of me with my phone. She managed to drop the phone thrice within 5 minutes. Now the phone is busted and she refuses to pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 308

You deserved it 709

Today, my stupid coworker informed the managers that there were no more kids' menus downstairs. Trusting her word, they ordered 3 full boxes. She then asked me where we kept them. We now have 12,000 kids menus to fold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 771

You deserved it 975

Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 144

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 071

You deserved it 7 463