Nearly FMLs

By ImSuchALoser - 29/04/2018 14:25

Today, in music class, I was playing my violin, which I’ve only been learning for a month. I was playing a piece I had practiced my butt off to perfect, when my crush came up to me and went, “No offence, but I really hate the violin. And your screechy playing just makes it worse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 3

By "younglogic" - 29/04/2018 09:48

Today I decided I would DM this cute girl I've liked since high school. I said "hey, how's it going? haven't talked to you in awhile!" she said "lol" and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 7

By CantTouchThis - 29/04/2018 09:28

Today, my mother-in-law told me that my autistic son is “so dramatic you'd think he was a girl.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 29/04/2018 06:53

Today, I discovered that certain muscle relaxers can be taken together. I was misinformed about what the one med was, and thought I would OD if I took them both. So for a few days now, I’ve been in unnecessary severe pain. Stupid pharmacist didn’t correct me what I said I couldn’t take the one med. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 10

By scorned - 29/04/2018 06:28

Today, the guy I have been seeing insisted on being exclusive about a week ago. I got a text in the middle of the night saying he’s hooking up with a past fling. So much for exclusivity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 29/04/2018 06:24

Today, my brother got his 3rd tv, this goes perfectly with his xbox 360, ps4, ps3, and top of the line gaming computer. My mom grounded me and threatened to cancel my phone number because I didn't do my laundry in time. My brother had clothes in the washer and dryer that has"getting tomorrow". I'm 18. He's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 6

By The ultimate third wheeler - 29/04/2018 03:41

Today, my two friends abandoned me in the movie theater, so they could sneak off and do the nasty in the car. They even had the audacity to tell me the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 28/04/2018 21:40

Today, the screen of the Samsung s7 I bought for $399 only a month ago cracked. Usually I wouldn't be too angry, but it was in my empty pocket while sitting when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 9

By HelpMeImPoor - 28/04/2018 16:05

Today, I got my wrist sprained because a student of mine beat me up. I have the choice of working for half pay with the job of cutting paper and typing, or being sent home for a week without pay. I guess I didn't need my wrist anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 4

By akash - 28/04/2018 09:00 - United States

Today, despite meditating, cutting out sugar, exercising during the day, turning off all electronics after 10 pm, and taking melatonin, I still could not fall asleep. Meanwhile, my roommate, who stays on her computer all day and brings her phone into bed, slept like a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 493

You deserved it 458

By "ch,nlv" - 28/04/2018 12:10

Today, my whole class hates me because a guy asked me out and I said no. I'm also a guy and not gay. My class thinks I'm homophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 28/04/2018 06:03

Today, I realised that the lecture halls are so far away from my hostel that my smart watch auto-starts a workout every time I walk to class. 6 semesters to go. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 8

By D!3ZL - 28/04/2018 00:38

Today, I swiped on an anonymous pic on Tinder and my mom’s phone dinged sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 8

By SwipeLeeeeft - 27/04/2018 20:42

Today, Tinder matched me with my cheating ex husband. For the 2nd time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 25

By CreeptacularBait - 27/04/2018 19:57

Today, I woke up early so I could get work done and be productive. I promptly began puking my guts out till I started puking blood and bile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 4

By Wetwetwet - 27/04/2018 14:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, in the bathroom at work, I knocked my phone from the countertop into the sink. When I reached to pick it up, my handset off the automatic tap, soaking my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 17

By ThomasM - 27/04/2018 15:51

Today, I decided to wear jeans for the first time all year, after never wearing anything except Adidas sweat pants. Not even five minutes in, I got made fun of because apparently they're "mom jeans". I guess I'm not wearing jeans ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 27/04/2018 12:05

Today my dad and I were hanging out he had been drinking before I showed up. He drunkenly told me about how he was glad I never dated the neighbors daughter, because it was actually my step sister. I wouldn't have cared much except I had an intimate relationship with her at one point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 5

By ForeverAlone - 27/04/2018 10:32

Today, I was at a coffee shop when I saw my crush sitting at a table in front of me. I decided to take a Snap and caption it “current status: stalking bae.” It was for my BFF, but somehow I accidentally sent it to everyone in my Friends (including my crush) AND posted it on my public story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 99

By AloneForever - 27/04/2018 07:26

Today, my mom told me, "You should go on a date sometime, maybe a double date with your sister? A good way for you to meet a significant other." I thought this was funny, so I told my sister. She replied, "I would never go on a double date with you. No offense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By "TheZombieGirl" - 27/04/2018 03:48

Today, I received an amazing, I love you text from my long time crush who so happens to be my best friend of 2 years. I smiled so big my dad looked over at me and said he doesn't want me to be friends with "that guy" anymore because he's too distancing for me and my future goals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 3

By Maybe gay? - 27/04/2018 03:43

Today, I had the best sex of my life during my first three ways with my girlfriend and her male friend. Unfortunately for my girlfriend, her friend was more interested in banging me and I enjoyed it more than being with a woman. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 34

By Otaku-San 14 - 27/04/2018 02:38

Today, while driving home from school someone lit a firecracker which caused a blood vessel in my eye to pop. I’m just as confused as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 2

By fuckabletherapist - 26/04/2018 21:03 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was broken up with by my girlfriend of over a year. We got together when she took time out of Uni, and I supported her with her mental health until she was ready to come back. Apparently she's fine now, and I'm no longer required. We'd planned a future together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 26/04/2018 21:26

Today, while playing golf, my dad's wedge broke off his club and hit me in the mouth. I had to visit the dentist and it took 3 hours to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 26/04/2018 20:34

Today, I bought my daughter a cell phone. Her dad called her and she screamed "Mom, how do I turn the vibrator off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 5

By "ch,nlv" - 26/04/2018 20:04

Today, my parents called me a slut for getting pregnant and refuse to talk to me again. The only problem is that I'm 27, married and this will be my second child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 5

TP is Money!

By Б. Амарсанаа - 26/04/2018 13:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boss said I use too much toilet paper when I go to the toilet. Our floor has over 20 workers and 2 toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 515

You deserved it 213

By Sydney - 26/04/2018 17:39

Today, I received a notification that my Facebook post had been shared over one thousand times. I was trying to find a couple who stole from us after we took them in. Apparently the boyfriend robbed a bank last week, hence the massive amount of shares. What a way to wake up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 4

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 107

You deserved it 3 894

Today, my landlord asked to borrow my truck to move some furniture. When she returned it, I noticed she had filled the gas tank up. I thanked her for doing so, and she handed me the receipt and said "just add it to next month's rent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 918

You deserved it 3 531

Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 25 361

Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 363

You deserved it 4 877

Today, I found out that when my now ex-fiance said he “needs time to think about it” when he got cold feet at our wedding, he meant he needed time to screw his hot young coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 156

Today, while at my doctor's appointment, all my male doctor did was talk about my weight gain. I tried explaining that I eat healthy and work out, and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first child, and have always struggled with body image. It makes me want to develop an eating disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 123