Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML
Today, I got written up at work over false accusations that I didn't do some safety tasks. The same tasks that were done before I had even arrived. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML
Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML
Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML
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Top comments
B5B0N35 18
What a dick
Welshite 39
The bend and SNAP! It's a totally legitimate method. I've used it myself.
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Comments (74)
Thebroskii 11
Maybe he just had a good view ;). No, but seriously, im sorry OP that really sucks.
MikeonFML 17
Or if she went commando that day, a really good view :)
lonewolf621 17
Get another job :)
B5B0N35 18
What a dick
etoilenuit 15
You must just be that damn sexy that you can't help but pick up a pen off the ground seductively. :)
dixiefoxx 22
That guys a huge jackass
photogodess 13
What a jerk, forget him explain to your boss that's all that matters. Squash it ASAP though for the sake of ur job. Good Luck op
patrickalamo 47
Make sure you tell HR he made the complaint because he was afraid you where going to complain about his off color comment when you where bent over. Flip it back on the jackass.
jkmartinjk 16
Judging by OPs name, it did not turn out well for her.
Barriaultcory 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe he's gay?
Shrike 23
Tell me again how his sexuality is even slightly relevant?
SolarFlare 20
thank you for the completely inappropriate comment. he is just a pervert.
150493x 29
Hopefully they see how ridiculous he is being.
jkmartinjk 16
Nope, she's suspended.
CaptMurdock 25
What a tool.
Welshite 39
The bend and SNAP! It's a totally legitimate method. I've used it myself.
DKjazz 20
I prefer the bait and switch.
linyah 11
personally..i like the stab and twist =D
kenjenkei 32
Well, that escalated quickly...
graceinsheepwear 33
Don't forget the bitch and moan...
RandomRaybay 13
OMG! The bend and snap "works every time"!!! XD
cristy91 33
Unless you have a problem with HR, you should be able to easily show that you weren't in any wrong. Plus, if you can get some witnesses who can help verify your story, that will help. Sorry you work with such an ass, OP
swordidfate 13
I think OP might also be able to report HIM for sexual harassment
TacoTheDank 27
66 two wrongs don't make a right
kwyk 23
Bend at the knees...
myoukei 31
That doesn't always work. Case in point: if you're wearing certain skirts....
SAGARCo 19
Then don't bend quickly? What kind of skirts don't allow you to bend at the knees?