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Today, I was talking on my mobile and walking into a grocery store saying, quite loudly, "Time heals all wounds!" right as I passed a woman with significant burns covering her face. I guess I was wrong. FML

#989435
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (48957)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17pm - misc - by Insensitive (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18501) - you deserved it (31942)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (44483)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (3838)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (25709)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (101167)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18496) - you deserved it (3238)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

#2134167
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (63138)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18492) - you deserved it (2543)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted everyone in my phone to remind them mother's day is tomorrow. Everyone including the boy whose mom died last year. FML

#1783104
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18491) - you deserved it (77850)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (58901)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18485) - you deserved it (51735)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, the closest I got to a vacation was the smell of my new towels, because they remind me of a hotel. FML

#19481018
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18480) - you deserved it (2251)

On 04/16/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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