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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

#20006198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (29939)

On 08/06/2012 at 6:08pm - misc - by :$ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML

#10978
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (47927)

On 02/05/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML

#6691073
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8010) - you deserved it (31512)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8007) - you deserved it (61492)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was at Disneyland with some of my friends. While eating lunch, we watched a small child get frightened by the person dressed as Mickey Mouse. We all burst out laughing only to be jumped by Chip and Dale. Apparently I scream louder than the little kid. FML

#3260741
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8004) - you deserved it (46417)

On 06/26/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by FailureAtLife121 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

#5830310
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8000) - you deserved it (33048)

On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

#19915289
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7999) - you deserved it (20894)

On 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7999) - you deserved it (33399)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7997) - you deserved it (46529)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

#7372810
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (22755)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:22am - money - by bankergirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7983) - you deserved it (54665)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7982) - you deserved it (55325)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7981) - you deserved it (24364)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)



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