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Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, that is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what's the problem? Now that we are committed, he won't get it on with me anymore. FML

#5720583
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (18605)

On 10/08/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by OnlyMe (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML

#12453320
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (35425)

On 08/11/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by nina - Luxembourg (Luxembourg)

Today, a woman asked why my daughter doesn't look remotely like me. I just smiled and shrugged it off, but the truth is that she looks exactly like I did before I got my botched plastic surgery. FML

#19905347
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (36268)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:13pm - kids - by momolee (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

#194892
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7740) - you deserved it (85808)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by noway6000 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

#5087899
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7736) - you deserved it (61487)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Ex-girlfried (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

#19557146
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (24430)

On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7734) - you deserved it (43190)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

#8784416
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7733) - you deserved it (24621)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (83387)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

#6411627
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7729) - you deserved it (23650)

On 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm - intimacy - by Sam (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7726) - you deserved it (26091)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 2 hours doing my hair, doing my make-up, and picking out an outfit to meet some men. On chatroulette. FML

#9056198
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (31792)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by leapple (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7719) - you deserved it (65163)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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