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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

#12425541
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7708) - you deserved it (32086)

On 08/10/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by clu - United States (Illinois)

Today, I misspelled the word "failure" in front of all my co-workers. Now I'm not given any writing tasks. FML

#12406299
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you deserved it (28208)

On 08/09/2010 at 4:29am - work - by Fml24609 - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

#3651
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (22740)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by pop_rox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (46040)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7704) - you deserved it (60087)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (32715)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7702) - you deserved it (18259)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7695) - you deserved it (33380)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, for my Teen Living class, all the students got a fake baby. In order to stop the baby from crying, you have to use the bracelet they provide. I lost the bracelet. I have the baby all weekend. FML

#13558555
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (35059)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

#6725096
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (32145)

On 12/12/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by Icci (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Wal-Mart and I asked a guy who worked there where the scrapbooking stuff was. He led me to the aisle where it was and then said, "By the way, I don't work here." FML

#13681370
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (26662)

On 11/01/2010 at 10:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the cleaning lady left a note that said my room was too dirty to clean. FML

#6002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (30247)

On 02/03/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by fuckedalready (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

#20072843
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7688) - you deserved it (42585)

On 09/15/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Rowan Curry - United States (California)



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