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Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

#14826763
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7086) - you deserved it (67193)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (40863)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (49606)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

#7492476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (33629)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:25am - intimacy - by masterzach21 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7065) - you deserved it (58589)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

#5757165
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7064) - you deserved it (65052)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was applying for a job at a corporate office. Everything went fine until I hurled all over the manager, who until then seemed to like me. Never eat expired canned tuna on the same day as an interview. FML

#14548821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7059) - you deserved it (29114)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (45977)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (61030)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML

#511
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7057) - you deserved it (17264)

On 12/14/2008 at 6:31am - misc - by Guuu - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML

#3386965
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7052) - you deserved it (50779)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

#721
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (28855)

On 01/06/2009 at 10:58pm - misc - by takeiteasy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

#20121962
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7050) - you deserved it (37463)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:50am - money - by Dr_Gip - United States



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