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Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

#6698211
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13932) - you deserved it (34832)

On 12/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13931) - you deserved it (42075)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML

#4833431
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13924) - you deserved it (41261)

On 08/26/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by diapermommy (woman) - United States

Today, I took the bus to Boston. My bike is in Boston. My bike lock is in Boston. The key is in New York. FML

#4035299
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13924) - you deserved it (33568)

On 07/25/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by zinka - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I am severely hungover. Upon returning home, I came to find that both of the elevators were out of order. I live on the 12th floor. FML

#10547864
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13923) - you deserved it (31968)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:01pm - misc - by prettybich - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that before I can legally drink, I will have been married, divorced, and pregnant. FML

#14095149
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13923) - you deserved it (76087)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:04pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

#19106653
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13923) - you deserved it (29440)

On 02/18/2012 at 10:49am - love - by sandysmith - United States

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

#5621142
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (28891)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13919) - you deserved it (21678)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13919) - you deserved it (43184)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (41805)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13912) - you deserved it (35684)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

#228564
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13900) - you deserved it (35848)

On 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by 1 Giant Cupcake (man) - United States (California)



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