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Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

#739087
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (39158)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

#4792669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (51041)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (20840)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I was nervous as hell for my driving test. The instructor told me to drive a straight line in reverse. I forgot to put the car in reverse from drive and drove straight into a parked vehicle. Which happened to be owned by the instructor. FML

#7290738
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9594) - you deserved it (22572)

On 01/11/2010 at 11:03pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

#18353001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you deserved it (26916)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

#13505156
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (23581)

On 10/18/2010 at 10:40pm - work - by haayloo (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you deserved it (37773)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (45709)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (56443)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9579) - you deserved it (53274)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

#13864593
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9580) - you deserved it (31012)

On 11/16/2010 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

#17922863
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9578) - you deserved it (34760)

On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML

#19482686
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9576) - you deserved it (32488)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:29am - love - by OL2R - United States (Massachusetts)



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