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Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (37852)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

#5793265
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (18616)

On 10/12/2009 at 8:34am - intimacy - by ravestradamus (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16007) - you deserved it (80719)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

#15606903
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16004) - you deserved it (45553)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by lovely321 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went out to get groceries and ice-cream. When I got home, I couldn't find my house keys. I retraced my steps, but with no luck, so I returned home and had to break in. While unpacking, I found my keys in the bag, right next to the completely melted ice cream. FML

#19886505
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16003) - you deserved it (8482)

On 07/03/2012 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

#615927
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16001) - you deserved it (70468)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

#3305444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (45656)

On 06/28/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

#20405129
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (25814)

On 12/18/2012 at 2:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15995) - you deserved it (153277)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

#18287242
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (41395)

On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

#9017056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15988) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:26am - intimacy - by 1378 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

#18183017
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (31991)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Luke - United States (Virginia)

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

#3341149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (52340)

On 06/29/2009 at 5:52pm - misc - by Cheech (woman) - United States (California)



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