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Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you deserved it (33773)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

#19892824
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (1801)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm - misc - by notestojenn - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (5522)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I missed my dentist appointment. I couldn't attend, because I was too busy puking my guts up due to a bad reaction to the pain medication I'm taking for my toothache. FML

#19357685
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20395) - you deserved it (1905)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML

#15144995
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (47386)

On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

#165039
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20390) - you deserved it (126051)

On 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20389) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (3345)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

#14578996
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20388) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by hoops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20387) - you deserved it (1865)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (3823)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (3773)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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