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Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16048) - you deserved it (7824)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

#3787096
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16047) - you deserved it (36919)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:08pm - work - by beingthebossisoverrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16047) - you deserved it (30735)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (31597)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (54216)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (30031)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

#13495592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16032) - you deserved it (36095)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16032) - you deserved it (5915)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

#18377899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16026) - you deserved it (20516)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm - work - by fuuuuck (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16025) - you deserved it (2072)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

#2775360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (38853)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

#6850
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16020) - you deserved it (46528)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by thermos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (36360)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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