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Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20564) - you deserved it (4453)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20561) - you deserved it (1973)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (3237)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML

#171291
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (52376)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (22772)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3622)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a major test, worth half my grade, not realizing that there were questions on the back of the sheet. FML

#18192880
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (33891)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (3697)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (51676)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (4865)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (4348)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)



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