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Saturday 24 January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22723) - you deserved it (1913)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

#21342258
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (7374)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (1669)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21042) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

#21342680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20532) - you deserved it (3872)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:39am - misc - by Evra (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19949) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19453) - you deserved it (1215)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (2356)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (2062)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML

#21341213
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (17053)

On 01/20/2015 at 8:56pm - work - by kingkobrastrikes (man) - United States

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17367) - you deserved it (1209)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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