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By reality_stricken - / Wednesday 4 November 2009 14:00 / Guam
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I can understand why she'd be devastated. But, honestly, that's a ridiculous question to ask. If you honestly have to ask that type of question, be prepared for heartbreak, because you're not going to last. Have some trust in your relationship and support his decision. Don't make his leaving for basic training about you. Asking a question like that shows him that all you care about is whether or not he'll still care for you. It's not about you. It's about him. Stop being so selfish.

By  HJB

Sounds like a typical female to say something she doesn't mean to get a man to say something he doesn't mean..... YDI

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Sounds like a typical female to say something she doesn't mean to get a man to say something he doesn't mean..... YDI

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Exactly. When someone does or says something just to get a specific reaction, they deserve exactly what they don't expect.

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YDI for fishing for complements. We can see right through that, and we HATE it when you try and manipulate us into saying what you want us to. It tells us that you're insecure, and that all you'll do is cause problems for us in the long run.

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I dunno, it is reasonable for her to be concerned somewhat and for her to voice her concerns. She wasn't fishing for compliments, she wanted to be reassured because she was uncertain.

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Indeed. Fishing for compliments is stupid, especially when being all naggy when he doesn't say what you want to hear. I doubt I'd love you if your always trying to put words in my mouth and whining and worrying about '"if you love me" shit, its the army, and he's joining up to protect polutants of the gene pool like you, unfortunately. But its about him, not you - give him a break.

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I thought relationships were about TWO people. Sure she sounds whiny, but maybe he is always vague. People just need to be blunt. None of this fishing for compliment stuff. Op stop sounding so needy. If he always says "shit happens" then maybe he wants to break up or get away. Maybe you need to rethink your life and relationships...

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Yes, but setting someone up to say what you want to hear is typical female miscommunication. Flipping tell him what you want to hear or what you fear & let him discuss it honestly. Men don't get "hints" and it's just plain rude to expect they will.

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have you ever looked into what basic training does? for most places, they completely break you down in order to rebuild you into what THEY want you to be. So I agree with him. Why would he try to lie and say he knows he'll love her when he's about to go through such a change. she was being a whiny ass bitchlette

By  Rota

Don't bother him with such useless babble and maybe try to be constructive. Men don't need your emotional baggage, espeially when they're training to be in the military.

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I find this funny. I'm sure he wasn't making fun of military men. He was just busting balls and pretty much saying he's on OP's side. Take a joke.

I can understand why she'd be devastated. But, honestly, that's a ridiculous question to ask. If you honestly have to ask that type of question, be prepared for heartbreak, because you're not going to last. Have some trust in your relationship and support his decision. Don't make his leaving for basic training about you. Asking a question like that shows him that all you care about is whether or not he'll still care for you. It's not about you. It's about him. Stop being so selfish.

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They're not going to last anyway. He is obviously not devoted to her. He's not even that into her.

Sorry right but nothing gets on my nerves more than people who say something to get a certain response back. And, and when they don't get it, go mental as if it's somehow the other person's fault for not having the same thought process as them. Not saying that's what you're like, but jesus christ FUCKING JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MAYBE YOU'LL GET WHAT YOU WANT.

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I think a response like "Shit happens" has a lot more going on behind it than just 'our thought processes are different'... just sayin'

I woulda been like "Ya kno what babe, your right. Shit does happen. That's why if u die, I want to reassure you with the fact that i'm gonna fuck your best friend, just like in the movie Pearl Harbor. And then maybe I'll do your brothers, and a couple of their friends. And hey, what the hell, yor dad's pretty hot, why not fuck him too. Have fun at training baby! And don't you go dieing on me!" That's how it's done bitch ;)

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You're a single, bitter, ugly woman who never found a man who loves you, aren't you? because only that type of person would be so incredibly unsupportive and bitchy to someone they should love.

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yeah .. but the guy who said "shit happens" in reply to the OP treats the people he loves wonderfully, right?

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I would probably say something seemily callious like that if the person I was with was trying to emotionally blackmail me into reassuring them when I was the one who was about to go through something like basic training.

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