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Sunday 25 January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26784) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I handed my boss my 2 weeks' notice. 20 minutes later, I was doing my work alone in the very cold basement of the building. My boss claimed it was a routine relocation planned months in advance. It's going to be a long 2 weeks. FML

#21341091
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (2307)

On 01/20/2015 at 5:52pm - work - by M. Night Shytefuck (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I made a joke that my boyfriend was going to end up sending me into premature labor. Later, I went into labor for real. My boyfriend thought I was faking and refused to take me to the hospital. FML

#21342125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (6534)

On 01/22/2015 at 6:32am - health - by unsuspectingmom - United States (Michigan)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3230)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

#21340673
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by BDSM4Jesus - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 15 year old sister asked which animal rice comes from. She believed every word when my mum told her it's harvested from tiny cows in Asia. FML

#21340484
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26284) - you deserved it (2250)

On 01/19/2015 at 7:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (7800)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I made fun of a friend at a dinner party after he forgot to put his engagement ring on. It turned out his fiancée actually ended the engagement last week, and everyone thinks I was being spiteful just because the girl is my ex. FML

#21340977
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (7534)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:16pm - love - by FootInMouth - South Africa

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (9273)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, a homeless guy tried to light my hair on fire with a match at the bus stop. FML

#21342118
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (1993)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:40am - misc - by burningman (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I let out a monstrous fart at the gym. They said it didn't even sound human. FML

#21341250
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (5538)

On 01/20/2015 at 9:41pm - misc - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (2136)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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