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Sunday 20 April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (4300)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (2449)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had my first car crash. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen. I then accidentally opened my door straight into her car as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (7978)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (8490)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

#21112820
62 comments

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2598)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (3732)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (4450)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2346)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

#21116391
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24324) - you deserved it (7742)

On 04/18/2014 at 2:24pm - animals - by hold your horses pony boy - United States

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

#21116951
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (2177)

On 04/19/2014 at 3:44am - misc - by crappy - United States

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21272) - you deserved it (24934)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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Friday 18 April 2014

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