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Sunday 23 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26397) - you deserved it (3043)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (3095)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26169) - you deserved it (2756)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25984) - you deserved it (6136)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (2013)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25171) - you deserved it (6907)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (2673)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25014) - you deserved it (5414)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (3245)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24320) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a chinese restaurant, only to get nervous and hang up. FML

#21300935
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (6331)

On 11/17/2014 at 8:04pm - misc - by phonebaby - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (7139)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland



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