Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 25 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (3986)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (5304)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26318) - you deserved it (2435)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (1986)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (4765)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (2713)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25062) - you deserved it (2455)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25000) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (3180)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22547) - you deserved it (2079)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (1842)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: