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Sunday 30 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (1883)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (1893)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

#21460121
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19998) - you deserved it (2080)

On 08/24/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19870) - you deserved it (1745)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I expressed my feelings to a guy I've liked for a long time. He basically turned me down because I have the same name as his mom, and dating me would be too weird. FML

#21460185
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (1729)

On 08/24/2015 at 5:56pm - love - by wellthen - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (6724)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19737) - you deserved it (1996)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19001) - you deserved it (1202)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (1294)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18698) - you deserved it (8094)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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