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Sunday 24 July 2016

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Today, for reasons that I dare not ask, I received a topless selfie from my Nan followed quickly by a simple sorry text. Sorry is not going to pay for the years of therapy I need. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2016 at 11:01pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

by budadepressed / 07/18/2016 at 5:22pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, I was going to bed when a cockroach crawled out from under my pillow. I wasn't too afraid of it, until I looked away. It's hour two, and I still can't find it. FML

Today, I came home from work early and caught my boyfriend in bed with my best friend. I'm such a pushover that I told them they have to finish up and she needs to get out of my house. FML

by DFTBA but FML / 07/22/2016 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I asked one of my teachers to write me a letter of recommendation for my top school. Even though I did fairly well in their class, I found out that they don't think that I'm very intelligent, but my "strong, work ethic" makes up for it. They mentioned it in the letter and submitted it. FML

by rejectedprobably / 07/18/2016 at 7:06pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

by Foolish / 07/18/2016 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my religious mother found out I work at Planned Parenthood. Now everytime she sees me, she prays until I leave the room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

by NotTheMomma / 07/22/2016 at 10:06am / Intimacy

Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Kids

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer excused himself to use the bathroom, so I took the chance to let out a tiny fart I'd been holding in. That tiny fart filled the whole room. When he came back, the guy literally stopped dead in his tracks and recoiled at the stench. Doubt I'll get that job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2016 at 11:08am / United States / Work

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

by Jesstanothergurl / 07/18/2016 at 3:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML

by mattlikesfunions / 07/18/2016 at 2:56pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was at a really big party and everyone was showing off by flipping into the pool one by one. When it was my go, I attempted a back flip, cracked my head open on the side of the pool, and was rushed to hospital. Now everyone hates me cause the party was forced to shut down. FML

by jeremyr5678 / 07/18/2016 at 7:02pm / Health