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Sunday 3 May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
98 comments

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

#21402350
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (2044)

On 04/30/2015 at 1:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Limavady)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26703) - you deserved it (2642)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (2054)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

#21401449
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2205)

On 04/28/2015 at 10:43pm - animals - by simple living - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up sexy to cheer up my boyfriend after a bad day at work. Instead of being cheered up, he accused me of dressing up that way for the male DJs at the radio station where I work. FML

#21401112
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2612)

On 04/28/2015 at 11:00am - love - by koalaburr - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my new haircut makes me look like a movie star. Not Scarlett Johansson, no. I look like Lord Farquaad. FML

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (2965)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (2978)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

#21402034
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25016) - you deserved it (2854)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:08pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24907) - you deserved it (4715)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

#21401688
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (2415)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:49am - work - by Goatczar - United States (Utah)



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