Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 24 October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27077) - you deserved it (2902)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (2950)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, while doing physical therapy exercises for my broken leg, I managed to throw my back out. Now I can neither walk nor sit up. FML

#21281586
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26652) - you deserved it (2239)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:00am - health - by cray12 - United States

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son gave me a bottle of shampoo for my birthday. I'm as bald as a coot. FML

#21282364
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26346) - you deserved it (2521)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:41am - kids - by Bald (man) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (4059)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (3135)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26007) - you deserved it (3079)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (1782)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: