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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent five hours in the ER with my 75-year-old grandma. Why? Because she attacked an old lady and punched a nurse in the face, kicked him in the balls, and jumped on his back and choked him. She had five guards holding her down and is now convinced they are trying to kill her. FML

#20846626
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (2263)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by Oh Grandma... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to endure my girlfriend crying and screaming at me. The reason? I'm not able to please her like the fictional character Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey. When she left me, she took all her stuff and left me with copies of the 3 books. FML

#20845941
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39599) - you deserved it (3806)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39450) - you deserved it (2380)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39405) - you deserved it (8527)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39390) - you deserved it (7838)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

#20846099
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39236) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/20/2013 at 8:54am - animals - by TheRoad42 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39144) - you deserved it (4377)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (3288)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39043) - you deserved it (7493)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I went to my car to get a few things, when I discovered it had been broken into. Nothing of value was taken. My window was busted in just for a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and my car ash tray. FML

#20833889
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (6268)

On 08/12/2013 at 2:54pm - misc - by amayasoma - United States (Louisiana)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (2607)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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