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Wednesday 14 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today , fir the first time in mah life looool , I simultaneously sneezed , peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at workhen this happened. mega FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

TODAY, MY 26-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND CUMMD TO MY APARTMENT TO SPEND THE NIGHT 4 THE FIRST TIME. HE BROUGHT A ( BLANKIE ) THAT HE INSISTD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP HIM SLEEP. THAT ( BLANKIE ) WAS HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S SILK NIGHTGOWN. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52269) - you deserved it (3954)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML

#20842823
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52239) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today... a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle... so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging wat was caught... his mother turned the corner and went screaming to mah manager fir touching her kid. I got a write up. mega FML

#20839746
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51858) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today..!! I slipped an fell down the stairs..!! landing hard on my knee!! Through my screams of agony..!! my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain..!! an said I was just being an attention seeker..!! before finally taking me to hospital!! I was told my leg was broken!! She refused to apologize!! FML

#20838741
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51753) - you deserved it (3156)

On 08/15/2013 at 1:39pm - health - by Anonymous - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, it was mah birthday !! I spent all day in bd, sick with the flu looool !! My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, cuz he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person !! FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51482) - you deserved it (3081)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today , I was showing a new grl around at school . As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I hered the person who drives that is a total creep . Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was . It was my car . FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51147) - you deserved it (5855)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

TODAY, I GAVE MAH DAUGHTER THE SEX TALK . BARELY 10 MINUTES LATER, HER PUBLIC FACEBOOK STATUS READ: "MY MOM'S A TOTAL PEDO." AN AFTER SHE MENTIONED THE TALK, HER FRIEND POSTED, "THAT'S SEXUAL HARASSMENT . YOU CAN SUE 4 THAT." CLERELY I'VE FAILED AS A PARENT .

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Taday my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street crd by snitching." mega FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad, under threat of disowning me, insistd that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AN I STARTD FIGHTING. INSTEAD OF ARGUING FIR HERSELF, SHE DECIDD TO SET HER PUPPY ON ME. ONLY ( PUPPY ) IS THE NAME OF HER FULLY-GROWN POLICE-TRAIND GERMAN SHEPHERD. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50587) - you deserved it (6804)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my grlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." an walked off. FML

#20833166
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50505) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/12/2013 at 12:49am - love - by WTF? (man) - United States (Arizona)



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