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Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
TODAY, MY 26-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND CUMMD TO MY APARTMENT TO SPEND THE NIGHT 4 THE FIRST TIME. HE BROUGHT A ( BLANKIE ) THAT HE INSISTD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP HIM SLEEP. THAT ( BLANKIE ) WAS HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S SILK NIGHTGOWN. FML
Today , I woke up to mah 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow!! I askd him wat he was doing , and he replid that he and Steve were playing a game , but Steve said I have to be asleep 4 it!! Steve is mah son's imaginary friend!! I'm convincd Steve wants to kill me!! FML
Today... a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle... so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging wat was caught... his mother turned the corner and went screaming to mah manager fir touching her kid. I got a write up. mega FML
Today..!! I slipped an fell down the stairs..!! landing hard on my knee!! Through my screams of agony..!! my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain..!! an said I was just being an attention seeker..!! before finally taking me to hospital!! I was told my leg was broken!! She refused to apologize!! FML
Today , I was showing a new grl around at school . As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I hered the person who drives that is a total creep . Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was . It was my car . FML
TODAY, I GAVE MAH DAUGHTER THE SEX TALK . BARELY 10 MINUTES LATER, HER PUBLIC FACEBOOK STATUS READ: "MY MOM'S A TOTAL PEDO." AN AFTER SHE MENTIONED THE TALK, HER FRIEND POSTED, "THAT'S SEXUAL HARASSMENT . YOU CAN SUE 4 THAT." CLERELY I'VE FAILED AS A PARENT .
Taday my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street crd by snitching." mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015