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Friday 2 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

#20827009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42658) - you deserved it (5343)

On 08/08/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by go choke on a gonad (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42624) - you deserved it (13328)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

#20827400
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42555) - you deserved it (5005)

On 08/08/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by ROBERT (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42433) - you deserved it (9159)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42030) - you deserved it (20901)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (3681) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41166) - you deserved it (4143)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

#20811311
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (4891)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by imagrouch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (6674)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40742) - you deserved it (15844)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

#20822133
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40600) - you deserved it (9961)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:09pm - work - by Fuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)



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