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Friday 2 August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44050) - you deserved it (20385)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (3581)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (21553)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I'm getting my period pretty soon. How? I started crying and throwing plates because I thought we were out of sweet bread. FML

#20825062
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (17018)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:51am - health - by FuckYouMotherNature - United States (California)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (9342)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

#20827009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43437) - you deserved it (5413)

On 08/08/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by go choke on a gonad (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43420) - you deserved it (13621)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42991) - you deserved it (25052)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6462)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42394) - you deserved it (4077)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42321) - you deserved it (4125)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

#20821476
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (4213)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by riiiighhhttttt (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (13741)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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