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Saturday 18 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML

#20664891
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (9630)

On 05/15/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41979) - you deserved it (4683)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41873) - you deserved it (4066)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (14375)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41776) - you deserved it (11877)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (3986)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (3125)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41507) - you deserved it (3490)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

#20683298
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3939)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (2758)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (3009)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)



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