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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48095) - you deserved it (8737)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48007) - you deserved it (6780)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47638) - you deserved it (12233)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47259) - you deserved it (9617)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46593) - you deserved it (4027)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (4584)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46540) - you deserved it (19435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45640) - you deserved it (7702)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (13738) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (6670)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45269) - you deserved it (11399)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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