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Saturday 16 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

#20545680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (4328)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (19450)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I said yes. This caused him to panic, excuse himself, then take it back via text message a half hour later, claiming he'd been drunk. We live together. When he comes back home, it's going to be very awkward indeed. FML

#20541052
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (2747)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (18104)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37690) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, being too poor to buy makeup, I walked into Macy's and "tested" some products out, just so I could look nice for my job interview. FML

#20541897
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (4408)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (9766)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

#20546221
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (7442)

On 03/16/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

#20547346
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/17/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (4280)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (3655)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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