Wednesday 6 March 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28882) - you deserved it (3383)
On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (2288)
On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States
Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (3135)
On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28291) - you deserved it (2529)
On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28269) - you deserved it (4442)
On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (4450)
On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28133) - you deserved it (2159)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28129) - you deserved it (1468)
On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27989) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27984) - you deserved it (1452)
On 03/09/2013 at 7:04am - money - by Trolling - United States (Virginia)
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (2946)
On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2819)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (5232)
On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Monday 20 May 2013
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