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Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.
Today , I invited my long-lost looool best friend over , because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend!! 20 minutes into hanging out , he showed up at my door!! He still hasn't left , and there having sex on my couch right now!! FML
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad cummed to drive me home. On the way looool back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
Today looool I found out that my wife makes mashd potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes cuz apparently this is a "healthy natural" way to make them and it also cleans her feet . I've been eating her mashd potatoes at least once every week . big fat FML
Today I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? ( She's my best friend we do this all the time. ) I have been dating him 4 over a year. FML
Friday 27 March 2015