Wednesday 27 February 2013 
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Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (4791) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm - health - by JimiHendrix (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19126) - you deserved it (1889)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, after scouring my apartment for quarters to do laundry, I found the correct amount of change. The change got jammed in the washing machine. I now have no more quarters, and my clothes are caked with soap from washing them in the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19048) - you deserved it (2233)
On 02/27/2013 at 1:27pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (5165)
On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States
Today, I was being interviewed for an amazing job when I was asked what animal I would describe myself as. Trying to be prompt, I picked the first thing that came to me. I responded with, "I'd be a turtle because I'm really slow sometimes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (11671)
On 03/04/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by seriously (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17269) - you deserved it (32615)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was reciting lines for a play that I'm in. It was going great, until I realized that I was actually reciting my scripted sales pitch from my telemarketing job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (5226)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:44am - misc - by sales ham (man) - United States
Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15821) - you deserved it (31107)
On 03/04/2013 at 12:01am - love - by DEATHBYEX1LE - Australia
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (28843)
On 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by stabbed with kindness (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)
Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13634) - you deserved it (22875)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13216) - you deserved it (29905)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12531) - you deserved it (31997) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, I realized that the homeless people I give change to all dress better than I do, including the one that doesn't believe in pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10298) - you deserved it (14574)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:54am - misc - by keerow (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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