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Monday 25 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27343) - you deserved it (2822)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (5215)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26830) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (1972)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (8630)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (3908)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

#20531281
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (2275)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (5575)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (9179)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home to find my fiancé trying to do laundry. His version was "rubbing the smelly spots with baby powder". Looks like I'll be the only one doing laundry for the rest of our lives. FML

#20527738
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (3917)

On 03/02/2013 at 2:23am - love - by 081013 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (3493)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)



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