Monday 25 February 2013 
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Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32141) - you deserved it (6768)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (3184)
On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (4467)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (8721)
On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30956) - you deserved it (9170)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (6124)
On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (29920) - you deserved it (2763)
On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (4861)
On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (4829)
On 03/04/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by claytwin - United States
Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (1651)
On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (2842)
On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States
Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29346) - you deserved it (3697)
On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (2518)
On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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