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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (2949)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34190) - you deserved it (3717)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33789) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (5578)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (4093)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33432) - you deserved it (6663)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33265) - you deserved it (3069)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (10715)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32953) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)



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