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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36457) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (8002)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36180) - you deserved it (3189)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (3716)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (6146)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (4070)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35785) - you deserved it (4215)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35588) - you deserved it (4004)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML

#20527880
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35485) - you deserved it (5343)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35387) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (5956)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (3736)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)



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