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Saturday 23 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29446) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (4424)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28710) - you deserved it (3649)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (3230)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (9530)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

#20526945
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (2387)

On 03/01/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by cthulhu help me (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

#20523906
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by thepokemonkid - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3293)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)



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