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Saturday 23 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling lyk I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know yur weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today.. . the guy I like asked me out 4 the frst time . It's a good thing he did it over Facebook.. . cuz I started shaking an almost threw up . I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week . FML

#20514506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (7575)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the arts company I work 4 cancelld our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, an will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office traind in ticketing. It stoppd raining 10 minutes after we cancelld it. FML

#20517422
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea . With barely any toilet paper left, I texted mah husband to buy some more and rush home . He replied, ( Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads . Get it? 'Shitfaced' . LOL! ) and stopped replying to mah desperate pleas . FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother looool took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave."

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (2867)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

yastarday aftar naarly six waaks of saaing a nica girl wa finally dacidad to maka it official. Two hours latar sha pullad out a bridal magazina an not-so-casually askad mahich wadding location I thought was tha nicast. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today,hile at work, ex-boyfriend came in. I pretendd not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stoppd to tell me that he was there fir orientation. My company hird him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today... my mom refused to sign me up fir a CPR class... reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking... I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2312)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor had askd me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrivd at her house at 7:30 as agred, and she appered to have forgotten who I was. She startd lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interestd in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previou one. She seemd nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wastd, spilld beer all over mah bd and blew chunk into mah fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Found An Old Toy That I Gave To Mah Daughter Several Years Ago . It Was Still Unopend, An Long Forgotten, So I Decidd To Re-gift It To One Of Mah Friend's Children . My Daughter Immediately Rememberd Her "favorite" Toy An Startd Crying Inconsolably . Real FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (10442)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, I Texted My Boyfriend A Cute Picture That I Drew 4 Him, With A Little Note Saying "love You." He Replied By Sending Me A Picture Of A Nose Hair He'd Plucked, Along With The Caption, "longest One Yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments


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