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Saturday 23 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (1368)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2908)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25513) - you deserved it (3768)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:48am - love - by great_just_great (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25509) - you deserved it (2194)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (1582)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25442) - you deserved it (2280)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (5909)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (2071)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25308) - you deserved it (3769)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (1886)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25130) - you deserved it (2232)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (2043)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (2091)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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