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Saturday 23 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33297) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33235) - you deserved it (4660)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33174) - you deserved it (8103)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33025) - you deserved it (2336)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32995) - you deserved it (3438)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (2406)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32927) - you deserved it (3413)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (6681)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32561) - you deserved it (2431)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (4643)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32396) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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