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Today, I discovered thathen you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that yur son called the cable company and had yur plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML
Taday ma boyfriend of almost six yeres asked me to move in wit im. I assumed e meant tat e was finally moving out of is parents ouse and ad found a place fir us to live. No, it turns out e means e wants me to move in wit im at is parents place. FML
Today, mah boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to mah grandmahile at mah house!! She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening looool to press charges!! I still don't knowhose side to take!! FML
2day I Was Babysitting, And I Had To Pee Really, Really Badly. I Couldn't Figure Out How To Get The Stupid Toilet Lock Off, And Endd Up Pissing Myself. As I Stood In The Bathroom In Tears, Their Child Screamd, "No, No, Pee-pee In The POTTY!" FML
Today, girlfriend broke up with me cuz she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange . This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months . mega FML
2day mah friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit mah house cuz mah dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heret to tell them that the smell is actually mah parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
Today After Half A Year Of Flirting Back And Forth I Went To A Fancy Party Thrown By The Guy I Really Like. He Met Me At The Door And Introduced Me To Everyone As "the Lovely Meghan". I Thought I Finally Had A Chance Until He Introduced Me To His Girlfriend Of Five Years.
Today, I cummed home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on mah desk with a note from mah roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of mah roommates are aware of. FML
Friday 27 March 2015