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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (3491)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
76 comments

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML

#20515001
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (2371)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years decided to tell an unimaginably rude joke to my grandma while at my house. She hit him over the head with a vase, and he's threatening to press charges. I still don't know whose side to take. FML

#20518703
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31618) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/23/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31611) - you deserved it (2236)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30916) - you deserved it (3256)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (1929)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (5172)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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