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Tuesday 19 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (2284)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (2238)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (2046)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (2097)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at work, my ex-boyfriend came in. I pretended not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stopped to tell me that he was there for orientation. My company hired him. FML

#20519937
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24490) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (1505)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (2447)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (3425)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (4944)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (9460)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

#20517422
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (1642)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23403) - you deserved it (3856)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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