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Monday 18 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (2797)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (3230) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm so poor that I've been scrounging around my house all day trying to find quarters and dimes so that I can buy myself a cup of coffee tomorrow. FML

#20521315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (5443)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21264) - you deserved it (2232)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML

#20519323
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (1828)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - work - by Migole (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (1549)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (1498)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML

#20520149
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (4184)

On 02/24/2013 at 12:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (6813)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (2155)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I locked my keys in my truck. The good news is that I have a spare set in my house. The bad news is that my house key is on the same keyring as my locked-in truck key. FML

#20521895
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (6617)

On 02/25/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by burning balls of fuck this - United States (Virginia)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20316) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19890) - you deserved it (10913)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)



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